


When Times Were Simpler

by padmoonyfoot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1970s, Acceptance, Bi Remus, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sirius, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Marauders, Marauders era, No Smut, Queen (Band) References, Slightly Angsty at Times, brief mentions of abuse, dorlene, jily, mostly canon, no graphic scenes, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24397609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padmoonyfoot/pseuds/padmoonyfoot
Summary: After Sirius accidentally reveals to Severus Snape Remus’ secret, the relationship between all four Marauders is rocky. James Potter realizes that he must mature slightly to get any positive attention from Lily. A story of trust, forgiveness, revelations, romance, friendship, and how they shine brighter than the darkness.
Relationships: Background Dorcas Meadowes/Marlene McKinnon, Background Sirius Black/Original Female Character, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 22
Kudos: 77





	1. Escaping and Reuniting

**Author's Note:**

> This was started on ff.net, but I decided to move it over here to finish it! I hope to be as active as I can, as school will be ending pretty soon for me :). I am not from the UK, so please let me know if I mess up UK culture or slang! I hope you enjoy it!  
> Wolfstar Spotify playlist:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3VUkn3EPGeNtqbvtrNOQ5f?si=1z48AZeyRv-1i_eBHqsA2Q

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!

_20 June 1976_  
 _Dear Moony, I really am sorry. I wasn’t thinking, it was all my fault. Believe me when I say that Prongs gave me hell already. Damn, I’m giving myself hell! It was not okay in any way to risk your secret being outed. Dumbledore gave me detention for next year, so at least you know I’m getting punished. But Remus..., words cannot describe how sorry I am and how much I wish I could erase what I’ve done._  
 _ ~~Padfoot~~ _  
_Sirius_  
The letter arrived the next morning to Remus’ bedroom window. The boy groaned at the sight of it- he knew whose it was. Who else could it have been from? Maybe, if he ignored it, it would fly away?

Clearly, that wasn’t the case, as the owl started chirping louder and louder. He shut his book and clumsily walked over to open his window and untie the letter.

His amber eyes traced over the first sentence - he knew what it was going to say, and yet, it didn’t stop him from continuing to read it. After the incident, Remus had quickly and fully decided he would never speak to Black again. There was a chance that Remus could never go to school again, and Sirius, the selfish bastard, was the one to put it at risk in the first place. James had already written him twice to tell him that Sirius was being punished and that he was sorry, but Remus just ignored those, too. It wasn’t James’ fault, it was Sirius’, and the latter would have to deal with what he had done.

It’d happened the night of June 11. Their O.W.L.s were through and there were only three more days before it was time to go home. Sirius traditionally grew upset and whiny when summer approached and no one paid much attention to why that may be. He’d shouted at James for being the most irritating individual and “a hopeless romantic git.” Which, may or may not be true, but James flipped and told him to get out of the dorm. Sirius had shrugged and started walking through the corridors. Remus had gone out to the Shrieking Shack already and James and Peter were waiting for Sirius to return to go out there with him themselves.

After James humiliated Snape for the millionth time and he’d spoiled his friendship with Lily all in front of dozens of students that afternoon, the Slytherin wanted to get revenge and receive justice. Annoyingly, he’d asked Sirius if Remus was a werewolf as he’d caught Sirius alone in the corridor. Sirius, instead of denying it and walking away, told him how to get through the Whomping Willow into the Shrieking Shack.

Then, on that night, as the moon was nearly at full height, and Remus was on the verge of transforming, Snape made his way out to the giant tree, following Sirius’ instructions. What happened next, well… let’s just say that Snape almost died, James saved his life- much to the irritation (and thanks) of the greasy-haired boy. Sirius, Peter, and James weren’t in their Animagus forms, luckily.

Snape was outraged, terrified, and utterly embarrassed that he had to be “rescued by his enemy.” James had then got a nasty wound down his arm from blocking a blow from the werewolf (Remus kept apologizing, but James wouldn’t let him). In the end, when Dumbledore was informed, Peter, James, Sirius, and Snape in his office, James was praised for saving Snape, even when they didn’t get on, Peter was let off with nothing but a nod, and Sirius was given detention for all of the next fall term, was banned from Quidditch for the following year, and he was lucky to not be expelled, honestly. Snape was apparently forbidden from telling anyone ever, but, as mentioned above, who knew how confidential Snape would keep the information. He wasn’t exactly one to do things for the benefit of others.

That moon was one of the worst ones yet, because his friends weren’t able to accompany him in the end. He was in the hospital wing for the rest of the week, and even stayed a few extra days into the summer holiday. James was the one to inform him of it all, and Sirius, when attempting to visit him in the hospital wing, was subject to the angriest he’d ever seen Remus in his life.

And that’s why Remus wasn’t quite sure what to do, now he was home. He shoved the letter into his trunk and threw himself back onto his bed, groaning loudly. Two more months...

…

Sirius was now more depressed than ever before, so much so, he was being more reckless than anyone’s seen him. He was actually shouting back at both his parents and doing anything he could to get them angry at him. The scariest part was that Walburga was starting to resort to the Cruciatus Curse to punish him, and Sirius was only acting worse and worse. She wasn’t standing down if he wasn’t. It was mid-July, and none of his friends had heard from him in nearly a month. After the letter he’d sent Remus, he stopped writing at all. The letters from James and Peter simply sat on his desk, unopened. He did feel a bit selfish, as he didn’t deserve to even be friends with any of them anymore, but he didn’t care about that. He didn’t care about much of anything, anymore.

On one particularly normal day, or so it seemed, Sirius took it upon himself to enchant his Muggle posters throughout Grimmauld Place with various charms. First, he’d made copies of ones, then modified them to have excessive features, like breasts, each the size of full melons, and making the face look like his house-elf. Definitely things that drove Walburga and Orion to the brink of insanity - if they weren’t already insane. He’d charmed them to hide literally everywhere; one in Kreacher’s old hidey-hole, multiple in their bedrooms, and then they’d jump out of places that startled everyone in the room. Orion lectured (screamed) at Sirius for nearly a half-an-hour, and all his son did was crack snarky remarks.

“WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, SIRIUS? I WISH YOU WEREN’T EVEN BORN!”

“Hmm, it appears that was your fault, though I hate to break it to you,” Sirius retorted dramatically, sitting on the kitchen table. Orion practically growled as he swung at Sirius trying to hit his face. Luckily, Sirius’ reflexes were in his favor.

Walburga shouted at him from behind her husband as she took out her wand and sent a nasty curse across the room toward her firstborn. He jumped out of its way easily and looked up to see green light emitting from his father’s wand. Without even thinking, he spun out of the room and up the stairs. Regulus was standing at the base of them, apparently eavesdropping, just as Sirius sprinted up them. Regulus took hold of him confusedly.

“What are they-” Regulus started, but Sirius just shook out of his grasp and continued running to his room. He heard his parents chasing after him up the stairs, so he threw a couple of locking jinxes on his door- enough to keep them busy for maybe two minutes.

His trunk was half-emptied onto the floor, rather inconveniently, so he just threw whatever he saw around the room into it. Reaching across his bed, he grabbed a few galleons, the letters from James and Pete, his photo album, and that was just going to have to do. He sealed his trunk, grabbed his broom, and just as he mounted the broom and jumped out of the window, his parents ran in angrily, still sending jinxes after him.

Halfway across the London sky, it hit him that he really had no clue where he was going. He figured his best bet was to go to James’ house, but he wasn’t sure he knew where it was specifically. Maybe he could use the Diagon Alley floo? Yes, that’s what he’d do.

…

“James, don’t slide down the banister!” Euphemia Potter cried from the sitting room. Her husband, Fleamont, was in his Quidditch Trophy Room polishing his many assorted relics from his years of recreation.

“Sorry, Mum!” James shouted with a loud thud on the base of the staircase.

Euphemia walked into the main room with the grand staircase and leaned against the wall with poise and ease. “You aren’t planning on going out again, are you?”

“Why? Am I being held prisoner for the evening again?”

“Your father is having the head coach of Puddlemere United over for dinner tonight? If you want any chance of joining, I suggest you clean yourself up a bit and, you know, remember you have manners?”

“Merlin, that’s tonight? Pete and I were supposed to go out!” James groaned.

“Well, you’re not. Go Floo Call him, now before he shows up to embarrass your father. This is huge for him and you, remember?”

“Ugh, Mum!”

“James Potter go call Pettigrew now!”

“Okay…” he sulked as he dramatically left the room.

Euphemia rolled her eyes before calling her house-elf, Brisby.

The creature apparated into the room dizzily and turned around to face her ‘Master.’ The Potters were a respectable family; purebloods, yes, but they had good morals, unlike the Blacks. They had employed multiple house-elves, but none were bound to their family, all were free and were paid. Contrasting the majority of elves, they were proud of both being free and working, still.

“Yes, Mistress?” Brisby asked loyally.

“How’s the meal coming along?” Euphemia asked, checking her watch.

“Brisby is working hard, Missus. It wills be ready soon.”

“Perfect, Brisby. Make sure there’s enough for you to eat, too,” the woman added. The elf nodded before disapparating.

…

Sirius landed in an alleyway, hoping that he wasn’t noticed. He pulled his trunk closer to his body as he descended slowly. He did charm it to be lighter- at his house, so he wouldn’t get in trouble with the Ministry - and that helped a bit, it just was awkward and bulky to carry.

He walked around the front to the Leaky Cauldron, suppressing his interests to further walk around Muggle London and concluding that he’d go another day. He asked the barman quickly for some floo powder, throwing a couple silver coins in the jar on his way over to the fireplace.

Briefly, Sirius wondered what he’d say when he saw his best friend. Ignoring this, he threw the powder down calling, “Potter Manor!” Unsurprisingly, their fireplace was locked, so he stood with his face half in the fire as the manor was alerted. One of the Potters’ house-elves waddled in quickly, clearly busy elsewhere.

“What does you need?” the creature squeaked.

“I need to see Prongs,” Sirius said impatiently.

“Master James is busy, sir. Sir will have to wait.”

“I can’t wait, for Merlin’s sake! Just get me him, now!”

“I will alert Mistress,” she obliged, rolling her eyes as she walked out.

James was sitting uncomfortably across from Coach Blemson, explaining how Gryffindor had miraculously won the Quidditch Cup the last year, when his house-elf entered empty-handed.

“What is it, Brisby?” Euphemia asked incredulously. The elf was standing in the doorway staring at the floor.

“James has a guest in the floo, ma’am.”

“James Potter, I told you to tell Peter you weren’t able to go!” She yelled accusingly. James put his hands up in surrender.

“I did, Mum! I did!”

“Well, I’ll go explain to him what that means.” Euphemia did like embarrassing James, who deserved it a lot of the time.

When she got to the fire, she did a double-take when she saw not Peter’s, but Sirius’ face in it.

“Sirius?” she asked, surprised. “We all have been so worried! What are you doing here?” She unlocked the floo quickly, sending Sirius falling onto their entrance hall’s floor with his possessions in hand. Mrs. Potter quickly apologized and assisted him in standing.

“Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Potter, but…” he trailed off, running his hand through his hair. Why was he here? “Can I see James?”

“We are rather busy tonight, Sirius, I…”

“It’s okay, I’ll wait, it’s-”

“No, no! I’ll fetch him… It’s just… we’re having dinner with someone rather important now.”

Sirius nodded, leaning against the wall. When James entered by himself, he stood again, this time, at a loss for words.

“Bloody hell, mate! What are you doing here? We’ve all been worried sick!”

Sirius relaxed a bit at the familiarity of his best friend’s embrace. “Do you think… well, my folks… - can I crash at your place for a bit?” Sirius asked awkwardly.

“Yeah, of course! I'll let Mum know, immediately. She'll be pleased - we all have been wondering... If we hadn't heard from you by next week we were going to show up... Anyways... what’s up? You look like shit!”

Sirius laughed for the first time in weeks. “Well, my dear father’s an evil git and I fancied a bit of fresh air," he answered, gesturing towards his broom. "I suppose I went a bit far... I'm still upset about..." He cut off there, though they both knew what he was referencing.

"I haven't heard anything from him, either, but my owls to him have come back empty-handed. He's getting my letters." 

Sirius didn't add that he had written him multiple times and didn't get responses, either, he just shook his head. "I suppose I shouldn't be _expecting_ replies..." 

James just nodded. "You hungry?"

"Hungrier than a dog," Sirius replied.

James groaned at the terrible pun. "The Puddlemere coach is here..."

"What?! Well then get back in there!"

James scowled at him. "I was _going_ to let you come with me, as long as you don't embarrass me."

"Mm can't make any promises." Sirius joked, but knowing he wouldn't.

James shoved his shoulder lightly, but grinning nevertheless. "Let's go," he said, happy to have his friend back with him. 


	2. Owls and Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Remus' home life, Lily and James receive letters, and a trip to Diagon Alley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! I am really liking writing this, the marauders are so fun to write!  
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos on the first chapter!

Remus assisted his mother in cooking dinner that night. His mother, Hope, was a Muggle, so his household functioned, mostly, in Muggle ways. Fortunately, Remus found it rather comforting and enjoyable to clean and cook by hand. His father, Lyall, worked for the Ministry. Following Remus being bitten, he stepped down from his job in the Department of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and now he worked in a lesser paying job within the Department of Magical Transportation, somewhere where he could keep more of a low-profile. Remus did feel quite guilty from time to time, taking away the job his father enjoyed, but his parents insisted they did it for him. Remus just nodded and pretended to understand. He did find himself closer with his mother, still. She didn’t have a full-time job, but she did help take care of older, sick families when the opportunities arose. 

When Lyall married Hope, he came clean to her about his magical background. She was shocked and slightly upset, sure, but she was thankful for his honesty, and kind of wowed. It would always be an envied gift, but she tried her best to hide it. Remus was their only child, and Hope loved him a lot. The relationship between Lyall and Hope became pretty rocky following Remus being bitten, and Hope was angry with him and the Wizarding World. But, they worked through it the best they could. There was a special basement built for Remus where he’d go on the nights of the full moons, and in the morning, they would have a Healer come and tend to him.

But Remus tried to maintain as normal a life as possible, even though that meant being homeschooled for the five years until Hogwarts. Lyall and Hope weren’t quite sure it would be a good idea, but Dumbledore insisted, for which Remus would be forever grateful. He would’ve never met his friends, learned magic, or even gotten the chance to _pretend_ to be normal if it wasn’t for both Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey.

Now that Snape knew, Remus was far more anxious throughout the month. He didn’t tell either of his parents what happened, just so he could spare them from the worry. 

…

 _19 July, 1976_ _  
__Dear Lily,_ _  
__I’m so mad!_ Queen _’s performing in Scotland in September! They’re in America all summer… Why does everything have to be during the school year?!_ _  
__In other news, do you remember Reg Cattermole, the Hufflepuff? He’s a year older than us. I met with him on the train ride home when you were doing your prefect rounds, and we exchanged numbers! He invited me to hang out with him in London next week, so I’m really excited (and nervous... but mostly excited!)._ _  
__You should meet his friend, Brian, he’s super cute, you’d like him. Besides, you need a boyfriend, girl!_ _  
__We all need to hang out! 27th of August, I am going to Diagon Alley, so try to come! Dorcas and Marlene are coming, too!_ _  
__Love,_   
Mary MacDonald

Lily smiled as she read the letter her friend sent. It’d been so long since she’d seen all of them. Mary was Muggle-born, like her, but Dorcas was half-blood and Marlene was pure-blood. She and Mary got on best, as they were both of similar backgrounds.

“Mum, Mary wrote me!” Lily called to her mother, Beth. Petunia rolled her eyes from where she sat on the sofa. Lily sighed. They were starting to get closer, much to her delight, but it felt as though one slip up would cause everything they’d worked for to tumble apart, never to be restored.

“Really? How is she?” Beth replied, smiling. Lily stood up to help her clear the kitchen table from where the dirty dishes from breakfast sat.

“She’s got a boyfriend,” she said.

“Ooh, exciting, exciting. I remember when I first met your father… He spilt his tea all over himself when I winked at him…” 

“Sounds like him,” Lily laughed.

“When’s she going for her school supplies?” 

“27th of August,” she informed her.

“Lovely, we’ll make sure to go then, too,” she said with a smile. Again, Lily caught Petunia’s eye from where she sat.

“I don’t have to go, right?” her sister asked warily.

“No, Tuney,” Beth said. “You know that.”

“Good…” Petunia said, relieved. She rose off her seat in the sitting room and walked out towards her bedroom. Lily frowned.

…

Sirius grumbled as he sat up in bed. “What is it, Prongs?” He was given one of the Potters’ guest bedrooms to keep, which he felt extremely thankful for, but he didn’t really like sleeping alone. James picked up on this, so the two managed to move the large bed into James’ room across the hall.

“Can you sleep?” 

“Yes,” he lied. He hadn’t slept soundly since he was at Hogwarts, but he didn’t feel like sharing this with him. Better to fake sleepiness.

“Moony wrote me back.”

Well, that was enough to get him sitting up in bed. “Really? He’s okay?” 

“Yes, but, er… he’s still angry with you…”

Sirius didn’t reply, he only nodded and swallowed thickly. 

“He, er… I invited him to Diagon Alley with us on the 27th, and er… he said yes.”

“Wait and he knows I’m with you, now?” Sirius asked, running his hand through his hair confusedly.

“Yeah, yeah that’s what I told him…” James shrugged. 

“Surely he understands that I’ll be going along, then? This makes no sense…” He had prepared to not see Remus until school. This wasn’t what he was expecting. Fighting, avoiding - those, he could manage and follow along with.

“I dunno, Padfoot, maybe he’s ready to move past it? Need I remind you that this isn’t about how you feel?”

Sirius glared at him, showing very clearly that he did, in fact, know that this wasn’t how he felt. James threw his hands up in submission.

“Well, it’s settled, then. I told him we’d meet him at the Cauldron. By the way… Mum wanted me to tell you that she can buy all of your supplies for you,” James explained.

Sirius looked alarmed. “She doesn’t have to do that! I still have a few-”

James looked down at the floor. “And she also told me that you’d argue, but that it’s settled.” His eyes softened empathetically. “You know it’s not a big deal, right? Save the money you still have and use it on yourself, right?”

Sirius gave a small smile and nodded. “Thanks, mate. You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“We are all glad you’re with us, now. We both know it’s better for you here. Besides, Mum and Dad have thought of you as their own for years!” he assured, patting Sirius on the back. He still felt a bit guilty going and showing up at their house, again, but he pushed those down and smiled as James changed the subject to his romantic endeavors - failed ones, of course. 

…

Over the next month, Remus avoided answering most of the owls he was sent. He finally decided to reply to James' invitation to go to Diagon Alley despite knowing very well that Sirius would be present, too. He had to admit that he felt pretty lonely without his closest friends and other than his semi-often ventures to the public library, he wasn’t super busy. So, he supposed his decision was both out of a desperation to be around other magical people and the fact that he almost _wanted_ there to be drama with Sirius. Because, to Remus, drama was manageable. At least, it was more manageable than completely ignoring him altogether. He’d have to face him at school, anyway, he might as well get that over with.

When the day of their visit finally did arrive, he was fully prepared (he’d spent a week obsessing over it), and set off to London by himself. Much to his disgust, the werewolf had torn himself up pretty bad at the last moon, as his emotions affected the severity of the wolf’s damage. There was a terrible wound starting from his lower right cheek going up across his nose, stopping slightly above his left eyebrow. It’d scarred with the help of healing potions and charms, but it was still a werewolf scar, and wouldn’t fully disappear. So it was a pinkish-white, fully visible on his face. 

Upon his arrival at the Leaky Cauldron, he spotted, to his surprise, Lily Evans by herself at a corner table, reading. He wasn’t particularly close with her, but out of all four of the Marauders, Remus was the only one that she would allow a conversation with. They’d been prefects together, and they’d studied together before, but they weren’t ‘best friends’ or whatever. Despite all of this, he walked over to where she was to say hi.

“Hey, Lily,” he greeted nervously.

“Oh, hi, Remus,” Lily said, grinning.

“You waiting for someone?” 

“Yes, I’m afraid I showed up a little too early,” she laughed. 

“Me, as well. What book is that?” he asked. 

“One of my favorites,” she said, showing him the cover.

“ _The Secret Garden_ by Frances Hodgson Burnett? I’ve never read that one.”

“Wow, I’m ashamed!” she joked.

“Hey, I’m more of a Charles Dickens kind of guy!”

“But not Burnett? Eh, you don’t strike me as that kind of guy, anyway!” Lily said. And, soon, they got into a heated discussion about books, one that even the most intense of readers would be jealous of. To Lily’s amazement, and delight, Remus had read quite a lot of classic Muggle literature. 

Soon, however, their friends began arriving and Remus and Lily grew equally annoyed, another thing to bond over, right? Alice and Marlene walked over and greeted them before changing the subject to the hottest wizard in whatever magazine they all subscribed to. Remus sat and listened in quietly before James and Sirius came pushing through the door, Peter at their tail. 

James grinned widely when he spotted both Remus and Lily in the corner, and, of course, did not fail at embarrassing himself.

“Evans! You’re looking amazing today! Care to let me show you my amazing tonight?” James tried arrogantly. To nobody’s surprise, Lily wasn’t impressed.

Lily scoffed before answering, “In your dreams, Potter.” Then, after muttering a farewell to Remus, rose to walk away with her friends.

Remus looked up at his three friends nervously. James was leaning on one foot, pulling at a thread on his robes. Peter stood beside him looking between the three, wisely waiting for one of them to speak instead of doing so himself. Remus could feel Sirius’ anxious energy radiating from him, and he could tell that James and Peter could, too.

“Where do you want to go first, Moony?” James asked, filling the awkward silence. 

“Er…” Remus mumbled. “Gringotts, I suppose.”

“Lovely,” James agreed, looking at Sirius, who was staring at his feet. “Great to see this will be a fun, talkative day.”

Remus sent Prongs a rude glance, and he just shrugged, at a loss for words. Yes, it would be a long day.


	3. School Supplies and Travelling by Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day at Diagon Alley and the ride to Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you are all doing well! You are all amazing and I'm so grateful for all of the kudos <3  
> I decided that the majority of the story would be from Sirius or Remus' perspectives, but I wanted more of the introduction-focused chapters to include more of James, Peter, and Lily.  
> I hope you enjoy :).

James was trying his best to keep the obvious strain following them around from getting to him, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do. Sirius and Remus would really have to figure it out themselves. To most, the drama probably seemed petty and stupid, but, of course, Remus and Sirius would both disagree with that assessment. 

To Remus’ relief, shopping wasn’t too difficult of a task, especially when he could take the opportunity to walk away from the group. They managed to make it through several shops without any major drama, other than the awkwardness that comes with walking between them together.

Perhaps the only moment that proved to be anything more than a tad awkward was when they went along with James’ suggestion to sit down at a cafe. Peter sat beside Remus, and the two faced the other Marauders. Sirius didn’t say anything at first, just continued to fiddle with his wand - which he brought despite not being allowed to use magic outside of school. James, of course, tried to keep a conversation going to divert their attention to something other than the elephant in the room. 

“So… Remus, have you figured out the charm for the map, yet?” James asked after a moment of silence.

“I studied the Homonculus Charm, but it looks like we’ll have to draw in a large portion of the castle ourselves,” he replied. Remus caught Sirius staring at him and felt his cheeks burn when remembering the large scar on his face. 

“Sounds easy, enough, right, Padfoot?” James said loudly.

“What? Oh, yeah, yeah…” he said distractedly. Remus had been smart enough to stay close to another Marauder (mostly Peter) throughout their shopping experience solely to not catch Sirius alone.

Luckily, the waitress interrupted them by bringing Remus his coffee, James his biscuit, and then asking if Sirius was sure he didn’t want anything. Twice, in fact.

“Sir... “ she said again.

“Sirius!” James said, waving his hand in front of his face. 

“What?!” Black snapped, slapping his friend’s hand out of the way.

“ _ Do you want to order anything? _ ” James spelled out patronisingly. 

Sirius finally answered, “Oh… no,” to the woman, who rolled her eyes and retreated back to the kitchen.

“Well, Pete, how’s your mum doing?” James asked irritatingly.

Remus rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, excited to get home and start reading his new school books.

…

When September 1st arrived, Remus was both excited and nervous for what the year would entail. School was fun - he enjoyed learning and being able to have something to do each day other than reading and cooking. However, things became less ideal with the prospect of him not having the normalcy within his friend group, the thing he enjoyed most about Hogwarts. A bit of anxiety was held when thinking about the full moon on the 8th, but Remus didn’t let himself get too worked up about that.

So, he bid his family goodbye and headed onto the train, more thankful than ever that he was a prefect and wouldn’t have to face the Marauders until after the meeting. 

When he got to the prefect compartment he was shocked to see that one of the new Slytherin prefects was Regulus Black. Remus caught his eye as he sat, but Sirius’ brother only narrowed his eyes at him before turning back to Barty Crouch Jr. Remus spotted Lily as she walked into the compartment, and was thrilled to be in company of someone who didn’t treat him as though he was a volcano nearing its eruption.

“Hello, Remus,” the redhead greeted, a wide grin across her face. 

“Lily,” he nodded. “How was the rest of your summer?” 

“Alright, actually. You?” she asked.

Remus almost laughed when envisioning her reaction if he were to have told her that his summer was awful, due to the fact that the moons were more unbearable when his friends were not there with him. Not to mention, the werewolf took full advantage of the anxieties within him and tore him up a great deal. Realizing that this probably wasn’t the best thing to say to Lily, he replied with a sweet and simple, “Fine.” 

They conversed for maybe five minutes until the train started off and the Head Boy and Girl introduced themselves. Most unfortunately for them, they were Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black. Lucius swaggered up to the front of the prefects, making sure his badge was shining boldly to everyone watching, and Lily had to fight back a smirk at the way some of the students’ jaws were dropped.

“Good morning, prefects,” he said with his ‘posh Pureblood accent.’ “I’m Lucius and this is Narcissa. We are the Heads of this next school year, and we expect that you give us your full respect in working for us the entire year, starting now.” Lily eyed Remus warily, kind of worried how their duties were going to play out when in control by two prejudiced pureblooded Slytherins. 

“Mr. Malfoy and I will be constructing your rounds schedules, no exceptions or backing out allowed,” Narcissa explained, pushing her long blonde hair behind her shoulders.

“So, if you must, let us know now of any predisposed obligations, such as Quidditch practice, planned detentions, remedial classes, study groups, et cetera…” Lucius stated.

Remus grew incredibly annoyed, then, because he’d probably have to talk to Dumbledore or McGonagall and get his own schedule modified because of his lovely monthly issues.

It was, really, quite a shocking appointment - Lucius and Narcissa? Why Dumbledore selected them, Remus didn’t know. Nothing against Slytherins, but they didn’t tend to become leaders - they were more followers, for sure, and these specific Slytherins, especially, did not have great reputations. It was pretty much common knowledge that Malfoy was joining the Death Eaters after school, and had already recruited Macnair, Rosier, and even Snape into following the cause with him. It was disappointing to Lily when she learned of his new commitments, but she couldn’t say she didn’t see it coming.

…

Sirius was anxiously staring out the window of their compartment as James laid across his legs, throwing and catching a golden snitch. Peter was sitting across from them eating a fresh cauldron cake and failing to get all of it into his mouth - there was chocolate lining his lips and somehow on his nose, too. 

“I just don’t get it, Padfoot!” James said impatiently. “Why does she hate me? I’ve literally tried  _ everything _ I could think of to win her over!”

“James, maybe you could-” Peter started. James, instead of listening to the advice, completely ignored the boy.

“And now you’re having the same problem with Moony…” James continued. 

“It’s not the same problem,” Sirius said suddenly. It wasn’t, right? James was talking about a girl he liked, not about their best friend. Remus was  _ just _ his friend, of course. Well, he used to be…

“You bloody know what I mean!” Prongs groaned. “Is Remus going to sit in our compartment, do you think?” 

“I don’t know,” Sirius said. And he really didn’t.

… 

“I can’t believe Dumbledore chose them!” Remus whispered to Lily as the two left the compartment, chosen to do rounds first. Lucius and Narcissa clearly disliked the both of them, the Muggle-born and the Marauder - quite the duo.

“He must’ve had an ulterior motive... “ Lily said, shaking her head.

“Dumbledore, though?” Remus asked.

They continued just walking through the corridor of the train, checking for whatever ‘illicit activity’ that was supposedly going to occur. Finally, for the remaining two hours of the journey, they were off duty, so Lily had it in mind to go and join her friends. This left Remus in a position where he had to decide which was worse: sitting in a compartment with Sirius or following Lily into her compartment. He figured it was the former, so he asked if he could sit with Lily. She looked at him, surprised.

“Oh, of course! But, er… why don’t you want to sit with your friends?”

“It’s a long story,” he said, placing his hand over his eyes. “I just don’t want to.”

“Huh… Well, yes, we’re sitting just this way... ” Remus sighed as he followed her, awaiting the awkwardness. Inside the compartment was Alice Fortescue, Mary MacDonald, and, to his surprise, Reginald Cattermole. Remus sat next to the window, on Lily’s right, and he pulled out his newest book to continue reading.

…

Once Hogsmeade came into their view, Remus concluded that he’d never been more thankful in his life. Even two hours was far too many (and he left to change into his robes for a portion of this time!). After pulling into the station, Lily and Alice headed off to find Marlene, so he started on his way up to where the carriages boarded. Behind him, James sprinted up until he was parallel with him, and flopped his arm around Remus’ neck.

“Hiya, Moony!” he cried.

“Hello, Prongs” he replied, grinning. Peter wheezed as he caught up to them. Soon enough, Sirius arrived beside the three and smiled nervously at Remus, whose mouth formed a thin line before he turned back to James. 

After an awkward carriage ride, they arrived at the castle and quickly found themselves seated at the Gryffindor table, awaiting the Sorting Ceremony. 

“Evans! How are you on this fine, fine evening?” James called to Lily, who was on Remus’ left. 

“Better before you tried to talk to me,” she retorted.

“Aww, come on!” he whined. Sirius awkwardly patted his shoulder. 

…

Remus was the first to leave the hall that night, muttering a ‘goodbye’ to Lily on his way out. Peter arrived at the dorm shortly after him. 

“Moony? Are you going to forgive Padfoot?” Peter asked, fidgeting with the sleeve of his robes.

“I don’t know, Wormtail,” Remus replied truthfully, sighing as he thought of the prospect of ‘forgiveness.’

“He is sorry, though.” 

He didn’t have much of a reply to that. Sirius was… what you could call rash, impetuous, stubborn, and was very good at not realizing the consequences of his actions until _ after _ they occur. But Remus had thought of him as a great friend. As ridiculous as it sounded, Sirius was the best at calming the wolf down during the full moons, possibly because the wolf and the dog are able to connect in a special,  _ canine _ sort of way.  _ But there was no special bond between the human-version of Sirius and Remus _ , he thought. 

As much as he hated to admit it, he really did miss him. Sirius was easily the funniest out of the four of them, and the world needed more of that. Remus was incredibly lonely over the summer, and he missed being able to relax around his friends. His friendships with each Marauder separately was so different. James and Remus could pull off the best pranks. James was easily the best at working under pressure and getting his way out of things, and that combined with Remus’ planning made them the most dangerous together. Remus didn’t connect with Peter as much as he did with Sirius and James, but they still got on well. Sometimes he was the one coming up with their biggest pranks, and no one ever suspected it was him behind them. Things were easy with Peter. Remus didn’t have to be self-conscious around him, and it was rather nice. 

Since their first year, Sirius and Remus had gotten themselves into petty arguments and they bickered constantly. James would get very annoyed with how often they were found arguing over a potions essay or the correct wand movement for a spell. But it had always been friendly, and they had always had the most peculiar friendship among the four. Because, though they did quarrel, Sirius knew more about Remus than any of the other three. Moments alone spent with him were just… different.

As those thoughts passed through his mind, he assumed it was best to try and get some sleep - he really didn’t want to think too much on the matter anymore.

…

After dinner, Sirius and James were in the corridors jumping out at the second-years for fun, before they ran into the person Sirius was most dreading to see: Severus Snape.

“Oi, Snivellus! How’s the hair potion coming along?” James spat pathetically.

“Oh, if it isn’t Potter and Black? How’s your dark creature doing? Still trying to kill?” Snape monotonously shot back.

Sirius cringed as the sensation of guilt wavered through his veins. James, aware of this, spoke up. “But you’re not  _ my _ dark creature! I wouldn’t adopt  _ you _ !” 

Snape rolled his eyes and shoved past them, making his way down the stairs to the dungeons.

“Don’t let it get to you, mate,” James tried to console. Sirius shrugged it off and led the way to Gryffindor tower’s staircase.

When they walked up the dorm stairs, Sirius inhaled a deep breath before putting back on his facade of general neutrality. Luckily, to his relief, Remus had his bed curtains pulled closed and was supposedly asleep. So, he decided to just go to bed, it wasn’t worth doing anything else.


	4. Trials and Transformations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life at Hogwarts and the first full moon of their sixth year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter is a bit longer than the others, I really just got into a roll while writing and couldn't end it!  
> I hope you are all doing well :) I am really enjoying writing this story, and it's provided me with a routine and consistency (which I'm very thankful for).  
> Enjoy :)

Sirius found himself the first one awake the following morning, which was a rare feat. He quickly checked the time to see that it was 7:57. He grumbled quietly as he stood up and went into the bathrooms. At least he could have a decent shower. 

As that day was their first of classes, they had to be down at breakfast by 8:30. The first hour of lessons began at nine, so McGonagall was to be giving them their timetables for the term, and the sixth-years were about to start their N.E.W.T.s classes. Sirius and James had received their O.W.L results a few weeks back. Sirius had passed everything he took, getting only one ‘acceptable’ mark, two ‘exceeds expectations,’ and six ‘outstandings’. James thought it quite funny, as he received six ‘outstandings,’ three ‘exceeds expectations,’ and no ‘acceptable’ marks. Part of him wondered how Remus had done. Remus easily studied the most out of the four, and, irritatingly, Sirius studied the least and still had extremely high marks. Remus found it very annoying that Sirius didn’t try and still passed every exam with flying colors. 

When Sirius exited the bathroom and re-entered the dorm, he was no longer the only one awake. Peter was staring at his bed longingly with one shoe halfway on, and James and Remus were both packing their school bags. Sirius flicked his wand to make his bed (pleased that he no longer had to do it by hand), and grabbed his shoes to put on.

“What’s the time, Prongs?” Peter asked, stifling a yawn.

“8:21,” he replied. “Better leave soon, don’t want Minnie to be upset with us.” 

“Doesn’t she always find a way to be upset with us?” Peter asked.

“I like to think that  _ we _ find ways to upset her,” Remus said. James laughed as he threw his bag over his shoulder and followed him out of the dorm, Peter at his tail. Sirius groaned as he followed the three and made his way to the Great Hall.

…

Remus was overjoyed that he was able to drop potions - he was awful - but he was still planning on taking seven N.E.W.T.s. Sirius and James had identical timetables (they were both taking six), and Peter was only going to take five. All four of them had transfiguration, first, right at 9am, so they ate quickly for that. 

At a certain point, Remus caught Sirius watching him, but he looked away so fast that Remus couldn’t do anything. Luckily, the rest of their meal was passed without anything other than polite conversation with other Gryffindors at their table. Once they finished, they trekked to the transfiguration classroom. 

Sirius groaned as Peter plopped beside James, so he took the seat behind them. To avoid being more petty than necessary, Remus took the seat next to Sirius, which was behind the other two.

As Remus pulled his parchment and quills out of his bag, Sirius spoke.

“Moony… I don’t want to spend this year treading on eggshells around you…” Remus looked up at him, narrowing his eyes with irritation. Sirius cringed. “That’s not what I… Merlin, I just want things to be how they used to be.”

“Well, you should’ve thought of that before, shouldn’t you?” Remus thought he could hear James wince from in front of them.

“Moony, I-”

“Not now, Sirius.” He nodded and pretended to be interested in the ‘about the author’ section of his transfiguration textbook until McGonagall began her lesson.

…

The first week passed relatively free of any major drama. The group was less awkward when they were all together, but the tension was ever-present in the air. Remus had four classes with James and Sirius, but none were of just the two of them. Just like he had at Diagon Alley, he didn’t let himself be alone with Sirius and made sure he was around someone else in case Sirius tried to talk to him.

Soon, the eighth of September arrived, much to Remus’ dismay, so that meant the full moon. With the way Remus’ ‘cycle’ was, he'd feel pretty crappy and achy around three days leading up to the moon, and the following day involved him in the hospital wing. Since his friends had started joining him on the moons, the amount of time he had to spend in a hospital bed the next day had been shortened substantially. 

He still felt extremely tired the days leading up to that night, though. He tried his best to not doze off in his classes, but it was always a struggle. Luckily, in most of them, his friends were there to cover for him or wake him if necessary. Regardless, the professors were aware that Remus had a medical condition and were gracious enough to cut him some slack. McGonagall, however, was the only professor to know exactly what this condition was.

“How you feelin’, Moony?” James asked that evening after finding Remus surrounded by open books and notes on his bed. James looked messy and worn-out from Quidditch practice. 

“Fine,” he lied. “Just trying to get caught up on the defense assignment. I couldn’t really process Sheppard’s lesson earlier and, well… you know...” he trailed off, embarrassed. He felt like his insides were bubbling with energy and he was drenched in sweat. In addition to that, his muscles ached and his head was pounding.

“Hey, relax, we’ll help you with it tomorrow!” James assured. Remus willed himself to smile, and then tiredly started packing everything up and moving it off his bed. 

  
“Where are the others?” he asked. According to his watch, the time was 7:11, leaving him a little more than an hour until his transformation. Pomfrey would be waiting for him around 7:45, so he had a bit until he had to leave. 

“Eh some girl threw herself onto Padfoot and Pete stayed to laugh at him. They should be up here, soon,” he explained before realizing there was something he should’ve asked already. “Moony, I totally forgot to ask you - are you going to be okay with him there, tonight? We’d all understand if you weren’t comfortable with that.” 

Remus thought for a moment. Part of him selfishly wanted Sirius to stay behind because he knew that would make Sirius feel even worse about what he’d done. But the other part of him didn’t want to be  _ that _ arrogant. Besides, the damage over the summer when he completely lacked the connections with his friends during the moons was bad enough to make the prospect of having Sirius there not something worth getting too heated about.

“He can come. Merlin better give hell to him if I wake up after attacking you or someone else again,” Remus settled sternly.

James grinned empathetically. “He really has been beating himself up over it. I know he regrets it, but you know how impulsive he can be - if he knew this was the outcome, then he wouldn’t have done it. Sometimes, he’s really thick.”

Remus only nodded before taking off his watch and prefect badge. Another look at the time told him he was set to leave pretty soon. 

As the sound of muffled laughter entered the room, Remus turned to see Peter and Sirius. Sirius looked thoroughly harassed and very annoyed. 

“Oh, stop laughing, Wormy! You  _ could’ve _ said something, but you just let her do it!” he whined. His angry gaze trailed over to Remus who looked away as he wiped his hands on his legs nervously. Sirius frowned guiltily and tossed the broom James lent him onto his bed and slid down onto the floor, leaning against the wall. Remus pretended to not notice James nod at Sirius.

“I have to go, now,” Remus said, feeling nauseated. Ah, the pleasures of lycanthropy. 

“Good luck. We’ll be out there in ten,” James replied, smiling encouragingly. Remus didn’t let himself dwell too much on how excited the other three always looked, even though they tried to hide it. It’s better than them being afraid, as they had much more reason to be.

He felt his legs trembling as he walked down the stairs of the dormitory stairs and concentrated on not falling on his face. The hospital wing wasn’t too far away from Gryffindor tower, but it was on the fourth floor, so that meant he had to walk down more stairs.

“Hello, Remus,” Madame Pomfrey greeted when he finally arrived. “How are you feeling.” 

For the second time that night, he replied, “Fine.” She looked at him worriedly.

“How were the transformations this summer?” She asked it in a knowing way, as if she was fully aware that they did not go well. He supposed the large scar on his face wasn’t going anywhere, and it was a pretty big giveaway of how they went.

“Worse than they’ve been.” 

“The wolf must be becoming far too used to the shack. Oh, I did do some reading over the summer, and I spoke with a few Healers I am in contact with - without giving anything away about your condition, of course - and learned that monkshood is being studied closer in the potion labs there and is showing to be quite promising when used to treat some aspects of lycanthropy. They haven’t found anything major, yet, but they are making huge advancements!” She was explaining this with a large smile and was clearly very excited. 

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Remus said. When he was a bit younger, he didn’t think the moons were ever going to get any easier. His friends had changed his mind last year with their accomplishment. But even when they were out there with him, he still lost control of himself and felt sick, not to mention he still could tear at himself if they weren’t there with him. If there was a way to make that even easier, Remus would be the first in the queue.

“I subscribed to their newsletter, so I’d be able to stay in touch with them and their findings.” She glanced at the clock above one of the hospital beds. It appeared nobody had been ill enough to find their way into the hospital wing that day, so the two were alone. “You ready?” Remus nodded and they started their walk out towards the Whomping Willow, his transformation set to begin in less than a half-hour.

…

After Remus left, the other three Marauders waited five minutes or so before they completed their part of the plan. 

“You didn’t tell anyone else this time, right Padfoot?” Peter asked bluntly. 

Sirius clenched his jaw. “No, Wormtail, I did not.” 

“ _ Tempus, _ ” James spoke. “Alright, we best be on our way.” He grabbed the invisibility cloak in one hand and Peter excitedly transformed into Wormtail. James picked him up and placed him into his pocket carefully before racing out of the dorm, closely followed by Sirius.

As curfew was at nine o’clock, they didn’t have to worry about being seen in the corridors just yet, but they still would need the cloak to sneak out to the Whomping Willow. Of course, they had grown quite a bit over the years, and it hardly covered two people, so James got to squeeze under it with Sirius, Peter in his pocket. When they arrived, they waited for the sign that they were able to enter, which was Pomfrey exiting from under the tree and reaching the castle.

Peter, who still looked uneasy when approaching the violent tree, managed just fine, and they snuck their way into the opening and sprinted through it. 

Remus was lying on the old and probably infested bed staring at the ceiling anxiously when the Marauders entered. He sat up slightly at their arrival but felt too light-headed to sit up all the way.

“How long have you got, Moony?” Peter asked, having regained his human form. 

“Not long.” Nobody said anything for a long moment, as they didn’t want to seem insensitive, so Remus filled the silence, hoping to distract himself from the sheer amount of pain he felt. “I never asked… how was Quidditch?”

James grinned. “Wonderful! Official tryouts are on Saturday, but everyone interested came tonight! Ethel Fleming - you know, that short blonde fourth-year? Always is carrying around that big kneazle-looking cat? Well, turns out she’s a fantastic keeper, so the competition should be good.” 

“Godric knows we need to win the Quidditch Cup a fifth year in a row,” Remus said, feeling his chest tighten even more. He readjusted his position on the bed slightly, but knew it wouldn’t do anything. “Er, I think you should leave the room, now,” he urged. He still needed to take off his robes so he didn’t rip them apart. Remus was adamant that he was  _ never _ going to allow the other to watch him transform, so they respected his wishes and would always leave until he had changed completely.

“Okay, good luck, Moony!” James said. Remus swore he could hear Sirius repeating James’ words, but didn’t care enough to think about it at that moment. The second he heard them reach the next room over, he stripped all of his clothing off and placed it all on one of the high shelves, hoping, like he did every moon, that they’d be in one piece when he woke up. 

Feeling the familiar bone-crushing sensation in his spine, he quickly sat back down onto the edge of the bed waiting desperately for the next part to start so he could just black out and not feel it anymore. As the painful experience began, he briefly felt self-conscious about the others hearing him scream, as usual, but forgot about it almost instantly, the urge to scream too much for him to prevent it. Seconds turned into hours as he felt the immense agony becoming the only thing he could think about. Bones were stretching, joints were popping, fur was growing. Darkness started overtaking his vision, and Remus gladly succumbed to his mind’s slumber. 

…

“I  _ hate _ this part!” Sirius cried. He was pacing back in forth through the room they were standing in. He just wanted to take the pain away - Remus sure as hell didn’t deserve it. 

“I know,” James agreed quietly. 

It was sickening to hear their best friend cry out in such a way. Like he was begging for relief, to be free from the pain. Even though what they did helped Remus greatly by not letting him hurt himself once he was transformed, he still had to go through what wizards have deemed as the most unbearable pain. The only other thing that could be compared to it was the cruciatus curse. People who have experienced both say they feel rather similar, transforming and the torture curse. 

The three sat uneasily until they heard the screams and cries subside. Their turn. They all looked at each other, nodded and transformed all at once. Wormtail squeaked frantically to get Prongs’ attention. The stag turned and lowered his head to the ground to let the rat climb up. Padfoot barked impatiently, directing the two’s attention to Moony, who had let out his first howl. All drama was forgotten that night; it was time to support Moony.


	5. Regrets and Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day following the full moon, Sirius has enough of Remus avoiding him, and Remus makes a decision about whether or not to forgive Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! I'm so grateful for all of the kudos this has gotten - you're all too kind :).  
> After this chapter, things are going to start being more in Remus' perspective, simply because it's necessary for the emotions and I don't want to create too much dramatic irony and make you too annoyed by the progression of the romance.

Remus awoke on the floor uncomfortably the next morning, immediately relieved that he felt much better than he had in a long time, as far as the mornings following full moons went. He groaned as he tried to sit up. He was breathing okay, so he didn’t think he had broken any ribs - small victories. The other Marauders were standing in the doorway already in human form. There was a blanket over the top of Remus, like always, to make things a bit less awkward for when he regained consciousness, completely naked. 

“You feel okay?” Peter asked once they noticed that he had awoken.

“Okay? I haven’t felt this good after a full moon since bloody May!” his voice croaked. Ah, yes, the inevitable sore throat that came with screaming and howling all night. He looked outside quickly. “You lads better go. Pomfrey’ll be out soon.” 

“Alright. We’ll meet you at the Hospital wing as soon as curfew ends,” James said. 

“Okay,” Remus said, smiling with gratitude. “Thanks for being here.” Sirius’ eyes shot up from where they had been staring at the ground. He smiled slightly, and this time, Remus didn’t ignore it, and, in fact, reciprocated the gesture, himself. Subtly, of course. They all bade their farewells and hurriedly left the shack through the tunnel in a similar fashion as their arrival.

…

When they made it back to their dormitory, the time being a quarter past six, they all crawled back into their beds hoping for two hours of sleep. Sirius didn’t want to sleep, as tired as he was. 

He could not stop thinking about how guilty he felt. Every time he saw Remus, he remembered how hurt and upset he had been when he had heard about what Sirius had done. Sirius knew he had acted rashly and he wished he had stopped to think about what Snape would have done. 

_“I know he’s a werewolf, he’s not fooling anyone, Black,” Snape drawled icily._

_“Oh, right. Yeah, he’s a werewolf. And you know what? All you have to do is stop the whomping willow and through it, there’s a secret passageway to where he transforms. Now, you can see for yourself, you tosser,” Sirius explained patronisingly (and very sarcastically)._

_Sirius, of course, missed the mischievous smirk growing on the other’s face as he stormed back to the Gryffindor dorms to get ready to leave with the others for the shack, himself._

He cringed as he recalled the events. He had no real excuse for what he did. Sure, if he had known that Snape would’ve actually went out there to see it, then he wouldn’t have said that. He assumed his tone was sarcastic and snarky enough to cause Snape to just roll his eyes and walk away. Again, not an excuse. 

Sirius desperately longed for things to go back to normal. Their fifth year had been one of their best years yet, with them finally accomplishing becoming Animagi and Remus being able to be kept company on the full moons. And then Sirius had to go and screw it all up just so he could mess with Snivellus, of all people. 

He wrestled with these regretful thoughts for what felt like hours, but soon enough, Sirius fell asleep.

…

Remus groggily opened his eyes, the effects of the small sleeping draught wearing off. A quick glance at the clock told him that he must have slept through his friends’ visits. It was nearing half past nine, which meant his friends were in their transfiguration lesson for another hour. 

“Oh, good, Remus, you’re awake,” Madam Pomfrey said kindly, approaching him from where she had been sorting out her potions cabinet. “I’m sorry I kept you asleep for so long. Your friends were all here the moment they were allowed to be.” When Pomfrey had been checking him for injuries, she had been angered to see that some of the scars from over the summer hadn’t healed properly (“clearly, the Healer that saw you overlooked some important things!”). Typically, when she was healing his injuries, she gave him a sleeping draught just to relieve him from the effects of some of the spells and various ointments she used on him.

“I bet they were,” he replied, smiling embarrassingly at the thought of him dozing through their visit. 

“I’m just going to keep you until lunch, does that sound alright? The scar ointment should still be settling in at the moment.”

“That’s okay, yeah. Thank you,” he said awkwardly.

“Oh, there’s no need to thank me,” she said, a kind smile upon her face. Remus watched her as she returned to her office. There were curtains between his bed and the ones beside his, but there weren’t any at the foot of his bed, so at least he wasn’t completely closed off from everyone else.

Remus was about to start counting the various grooves and bricks of the castle ceilings again when he about jumped out of his bed in shock. Because standing in front of him was Sirius Black, who was removing James’ invisibility cloak from around him. 

“Bloody hell, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” Remus whisper-shouted at him. Sirius looked apologetic and Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be in McGonagall’s?”

“Yes, but it’s not like she would even notice my absence,” Sirius said flippantly. He looked to Pomfrey’s office cautiously before casting _muffliato_ and moving to where she wouldn’t see him behind the curtain.

“Sirius, I’m sure every professor in this school would begin panicking the minute you fail to arrive. Especially McGonagall. They’ve been on the receiving end of far too many pranks,” Remus said, this time rolling his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you,” he said simply, as if it were the smallest concern in the world. 

“I told you, I don’t want to talk about it,” Remus said steadily. 

“Then don’t talk, just let me,” he begged.

Remus didn’t say anything, he just folded his arms and stared past Sirius. He took it as a yes, so he started speaking. 

“I feel absolutely terrible for what happened, okay? What I did was impulsive and I didn’t think it through at the time, but you have to know that I would never, _ever_ reveal your secret intentionally. I know what’s at stake for you. That being said, I still put you and your identity at risk of being outed to the entire school, and that was a really shitty thing for me to do. No, it’s more than shitty. It was, quite literally, disgusting, what I did, even if it wasn’t on purpose. 

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness, Merlin knows I don’t deserve that… But I am asking for things to stop being so weird between us all. I hate not being able to talk with you and I really miss how everyone got along. But, I, er, I understand if you don’t want to,” he finished, running a nervous hand through his hair. Of course, it looked as amazing as always, framing his face in the most perfect and aesthetically-pleasing ways. His head was tilted to the side slightly and his shining silver eyes were almost pleading as he watched Remus carefully. Realizing he was staring at Sirius, he flushed and looked down at the floor. 

“I’d like things to be back to normal around us, too, Pads,” Remus said. He really meant it, too. As for the matter of forgiveness, he really didn’t want to think about that. But it was much too exhausting to avoid Sirius and have people pick sides. 

Sirius grinned with relief. He sat down at the foot of Remus’ bed. “I hope Prongs doesn’t kill me when he realizes I stole his cloak,” he admitted with a devilish smile.

“Nah, McGonagall will kill you first if you don’t return to class. I’ll be down for lunch, okay?” 

“I don’t wanna go to class,” he whined. “I have double potions later, can’t I skip it?”

“You should’ve dropped it like I did. Go on, I’ll see you all later,” Remus assured. He shot a glance towards Madam Pomfrey’s office. 

Sirius groaned but stood up and draped the invisibility cloak back around himself, only his head sticking out. If Remus hadn’t been used to seeing his friends wearing it and doing a similar thing, it would’ve been a bit more unsettling. Sirius turned back one more time before leaving. “I’m really sorry, Moony,” he said and then promptly spun around and walked out of the Hospital Wing, leaving Remus staring at where he once stood.

…

Other than transfiguration, Remus only had ancient runes that day, but that was a few hours after lunch. Pomfrey allowed him to leave about an hour after Sirius had left, so he went straight to the Gryffindor Common Room. Peter returned from Muggle Studies pretty soon after, so while Remus got caught up on what he missed from defense against the dark arts the day prior, Peter struggled to build a tower out of exploding snap cards. 

“Things with Sirius shouldn’t be so awkward now,” Remus said thoughtfully.

“Oh, yeah?” Peter asked with surprise.

“Yeah, I don’t want things to really be so awkward anymore. We talked earlier and we agreed to stop being all weird when we are together.”

“Well that’s good. I mean, it’s good that things are going to become normal, again.” 

“Yeah,” Remus said. He never really thought about how this affected James and Peter. Sure, it wasn’t _really_ their business, but they were all close and they probably weren’t sure what the boundaries were. “Pete, I’m sorry you and Prongs were all caught up in this.”

Peter winced as the card tower exploded and collapsed onto the table they were at. “It’s okay, really. It wasn’t about James or I, anyway. We, of course, didn’t think what he did was okay, but we weren’t about to get in the middle of something like this.” He turned back to restart his tower and left Remus to think again. Peter was interesting - he didn’t speak his mind on things much, probably because he was nervous about whether or not his opinion would even matter, but when he did, he could be incredibly introspective.

…

That night, Remus was pretty tired and was sure he was going to fall asleep on the Common Room floor. He had his back propped up against one of the sofas and was trying his best to listen and understand what Marlene was explaining to him and James - Quidditch was hard enough to be interested in, as it was - but he was sure he was going to fall asleep any moment. 

He opened his eyes a bit more when he spotted Sirius smiling a mischievous grin and holding some book from the library as he stepped through the portrait hole. 

“Hey, McKinnon,” he greeted, collapsing beside Remus on the floor. “You’ll never guess what I found,” he whispered.

“Something in that book, I reckon,” he replied with a yawn. 

“Well, _yes_ , but it’s the perfect spell. Imagine the school bells being replaced with anything! We can change it to _anything_!” 

“Knowing you, they’ll be changed to the guitar solo of 'Bohemian Rhapsody,'” he said. 

“I like to think that I’m not _that_ predictable.” 

Remus laughed as he slowly stood, trying not to let his light-headedness get the best of him. After bidding a goodnight to his friends, he retreated up into their dormitory, thankful that he and Sirius had returned so quickly to their usual dynamic of friendly bickering.

He supposed what had happened would always be there, in the back of his mind, and that there was still a possibility of his secret becoming known. But he couldn’t hold a grudge against Sirius forever, and he really did believe he was sorry. So, he settled on trying to move past what occurred and to not dwell on it too much. The Marauders could move past anything, and this was only another example of such.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is written and owned by Queen


	6. Queen and Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next couple weeks of school and the big Halloween prank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this chapter is more of a filler chapter, transitioning from September to November, but I wanted to show the Marauders planning their pranks and some of the dynamics between them and some of the others in their year :).

The next few weeks, Remus found, had gone a lot smoother than the first in terms of their friendships. Sirius was back to acting like his old self - much to everyone’s pleasure - and both James and Peter seemed considerably less uncomfortable around him and Remus. James and Sirius were quite busy with Quidditch and Peter was in the wizarding chess club so they didn’t have loads of time to spend together, however. 

Luckily, Lily and he had the same prefect patrolling schedule, so he was glad that he was able to still hang out with her often. Lucius and Narcissa weren’t proving to be  _ great _ Heads, but they hadn’t done anything too awful, yet, as surprising as it was. They clearly didn’t like Remus or Lily, but neither of them cared enough to even be annoyed by it. 

As for their lessons, the professors weren’t exaggerating when they said that their N.E.W.T. years were the hardest ones yet. Remus found himself busy with just essays and homework for most of every day, and he didn’t know how the other Marauders were even passing their classes, as he’d hardly ever witnessed any of them actually revising. Some of the Gryffindors in their year started meeting at the same table by the fire every night to study. Sirius and James showed up every once in a while, but it was mostly for James to attempt to flirt with Lily and for Sirius to whine about how boring they all were. Remus tried not to let the fact that he was the only bloke there most of the time bother him, but it still made him a bit self-conscious. Marlene McKinnon was a frequent visitor, as well as Mary MacDonald and Dorcas Meadowes. When they weren’t doing rounds, Remus and Lily were there most of the afternoon. 

“I have terrible news for all,” Sirius declared one evening as he slid onto the bench beside Remus. None of them actually seemed to care about what he said particularly due to the dramatic tone he was using.

“Is it something we’re going to care about, Black?” Dorcas asked slowly, placing her quill into her inkpot. Sirius clenched his jaw in response to being addressed by his last name, but quickly regained his composure to respond.

“I should hope so! Queen’s performing tonight in London and it’s  _ free! _ ” he cried. “And we can’t even go!”

“Can you shut up about the concert, Pads?” James said with irritation, arriving behind him. “We’ve heard you complain about it for the past week. They’ll tour again, and then they can play all their new songs on the new album you’ve also been talking about nonstop.” 

“Well they aren’t releasing it for another few months. The last two haven’t been released until bloody November! I’ll probably have to wait until the Christmas holidays to be able to make it to a record shop.” No one seemed as upset as him except for Mary.

“See, Lily! I told you we should just sneak out for it!” she exclaimed.

“It’s not worth it. The wards are stronger than ever and once we get out, we may not be able to get back in. Professor Dumbledore would know immediately,” Lily replied. It sounded like this was not the first time they’d had this conversation.

Mary groaned and crossed her arms. “I heard from my sister that the one in Edinburgh included a new song that’ll be released on the new album. And you’re actually going to make us all wait.”

Remus failed to hold back a snort of laughter from how they were all acting. “Do you think this is a joke, Moony?” Sirius asked humorlessly. He laughed harder at this, causing the others to laugh, too. “Wow, the  _ audacity _ ! Right, you’ll pay for this.” He rose from the table leaving everyone besides Mary in a fit of laughter. 

Many moments later, he came stomping down the dormitory stairs with  _ A Night at the Opera _ in his hands and he walked right past them to the record player sitting on one of the shelves. He had purchased one a few years prior and spent nearly a week in the library doing research on how to make it play in a magical environment. Of course, he’d bought a second one for the dorm… and eventually he’d persuaded James to get one for their room at his house. 

At the sight of an irritated Sirius Black with a vinyl, many other Gryffindors in the Common Room decided that leaving was their best bet, and Remus supposed they were making a good decision. 

“I swear to Merlin, if he plays ‘Death on Two Legs’ again - PADFOOT!” James shouted as Sirius intentionally turned the volume up to the highest possible setting and the beginning vocals of that very song started blasting.

“I COULD TURN IT UP LOUDER, YOU KNOW!” Sirius yelled over the music. “MAGIC WORKS WONDERS!”

“JUST APOLOGIZE FOR LAUGHING, MOONY,” Peter begged. 

“I’M SORRY, PADFOOT!” Remus said, managing this time to keep his laughter contained and only smiling widely. 

“Thank you,” Sirius stated simply, turning the volume down considerably. “Next concert they have here, I won’t hesitate to sneak out just to go to it.” 

“Fine, next concert they have we’ll all sneak out to,” James said sarcastically. 

“You know he’ll use that against you, right?” Remus muttered to him as James groaned with regret.

…

“We need to start planning a big prank,” James said one night as they were laying restless in bed. “It wouldn’t be Halloween without one, after all.”

“You think we can top last years?” Sirius asked. In their fifth year, they managed to charm every painting in the corridors and in every common room - completed by use of the invisibility cloak and by following students from other houses - to wear full costumes. Remus’ favorite was Sir Cadogan’s Muggle princess makeover. 

“We could transfigure the professors into pumpkins,” Peter suggested with genuine excitement. 

“Ah, now that’s a way to get on McGonagall’s good side,” Sirius replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“I like the idea of transfiguring people into pumpkins… We learned the  _ Melofors _ jinx in fourth year, remember? Do you think we could change everyone’s heads at one time? Or set it to go off all at once?” James asked excitedly.

“We can definitely look,” Remus said. “If we ever get a break from the essays, for Merlin’s sake.”

“At least you don’t have to read about Draughts of Living Death! I don’t think I’ll be able to handle another lesson with Snivellus sucking up to Slughorn,” James retorted. 

“Again, you both could’ve just dropped the subject,” he said. 

“There’ll still be the annual Gryffindor Halloween party, right?” Peter asked, yawning.

“I’ve already got the butterbeer orders planned,” James said.

It was tradition that every Halloween, after the feast and once it’s past curfew, the Gryffindors put on a huge party in the Common Room. Many of them dressed up, there was always loud music and loads of sweets, and often, they were able to get butterbeers (or something even stronger) from Hogsmeade. They inevitably led to awkward games and one-night teenage hookups.

…

“Maybe this isn’t possible,” Sirius commented one day as he shut  _ Time to Control Time _ and added it to the stack of that day’s books they didn’t find anything in.

When they weren’t swamped with school work, the Marauders were found in the library researching possible methods for the  _ Melofors _ jinx to be used on the entire school.

“How many detentions do you think we’ll get?” Peter asked cautiously. “I don’t want to miss the Halloween party.”

“Don’t worry, Pete - if our transfiguration is good enough, Mickey may let us off easy!” James said proudly. 

“ _ ‘Mickey _ ?’” Sirius asked, causing James to swat him with the book he was holding. 

“You call Dumbledore ‘Dumbles!’” he defended.

“Right, it’s actually good.” James rolled his eyes sarcastically at that. 

“Guys I’ve found something!” Peter cried, successfully interrupting the snarky glares between Sirius and James. They all rose from their chairs to crowd around Peter and the book in front of him.

“ _ Tempus designatum _ ?” Sirius read. “What the hell is that?”

“ _ The scheduled charm spell allows the caster to control when a certain charm’s effects occur. When combined with ‘ _ Omnibus Adhibere _ ,’ one can control an entire group’s effects and time them all to the caster’s preference. _ Brilliant!” Remus cried. “This is exactly what we need - great job, Pete.” 

Peter turned red with embarrassment but looked pleased with himself, regardless. “It says it’s not even taught for N.E.W.T.s, though. It doesn’t even look easy enough to be taught in Auror training.”

“And when have difficulty levels ever deterred us? Quick, Padfoot, go look up  _ Omnibus Adhibere _ ! Pete, you take notes, and, Moony, you start looking up the theory behind the scheduling charm and the spellwork behind it - this’ll be our best prank, yet!” 

...

It turned out that the spells they’d found were, in fact, very difficult to learn. More research told them that it actually was not transfiguration, but only a charm that creates a pumpkin that grows around the victims’ heads. For it to work on every single student in the Hall - including them - they’d all be casting it slowly. The plan was for them to cast it right as everyone was seated in the Great Hall on Halloween, and then schedule it to go off towards the end. The effects, luckily, wore off after around a minute, so it wouldn’t cause any long-term problems.

After learning the theory behind the spells, Sirius proposed they practice it on one another. To some, walking into their dorm and seeing pumpkin-headed boys would be surprising, but to anyone who knew the Marauders, it was probably considered more normal than them all studying.

“Hold on, Wormy, I may be able to carve a face in it. Stop moving!” Sirius joked as the others snorted. Peter shrieked.

“I CAN’T SEE!” he shouted. Remus and James couldn’t contain the loud bursts of laughter that emitted from them. It really was a humorous sight. Peter fell backwards onto James’ bed. “Stop laughing at me!” 

“It’s rather funny, Pete,” James laughed, wiping tears out of his eyes. Peter made a grunt of disagreement as the pumpkin exploded into oblivion, leaving no traces of the charm.

“It better work on the entire group,” Remus said, his cheeks sore from smiling so widely.

…

The next full moon went by as smooth as the first, and Remus was out of the hospital wing early enough the following day that he didn’t miss any of his lessons. Sirius had detentions three times a week for the entirety of the first three months of school because of what happened with Snape the last year, but no one really brought up the subject of Sirius’ detentions or his mistake.

Preparations for the traditional Gryffindor Halloween party were underway and Sirius and James were eager for that night specifically for the firewhiskey one of the seventh-years mentioned they were going to sneak in. Remus wasn’t a huge fan of parties, but all of his friends would be there and it was always a nice escape from their studies and what was going on in the world. 

When Halloween finally arrived, the Marauders were buzzing in their seats as everyone entered the Great Hall for the feast. A few were eyeing them with apprehension due to their remembrance of their past pranks, but most weren’t expecting anything.

“You ready to cast?” Sirius muttered quietly for only the other three to hear. 

“Wait a minute for the rest of the Slytherins.”

“We’re saying forty minutes, right?” Peter asked, checking his watch. James nodded. 

Dumbledore began by welcoming everyone to the feast and chuckled as a swarm of live bats flew towards him. When he dismissed them to eat and the hall was filled with conversation, the Marauders took that as their cue to begin casting the spells. Each of them was in charge of enchanting a House table in order to keep the spellwork brief and less noticeable. 

“Now, we wait,” Sirius said with a smirk before reaching for his spoon. They all smiled mischievously as they started to eat and feigned innocence. The time passed slowly as they ate and conversed with some of the others, waiting for the spell to start.

“Are you actually revising for transfiguration, Evans?” Sirius asked as he rolled his eyes. 

“There’s a test next week, Black,” she replied, not looking up from the flashcards she’d made. She also didn’t notice Sirius wince at his surname. In fact, no one had appeared to notice it other than Remus. “Remus, do you understand what McGonagall was saying in our last lesson? When you conjure something, just… where does it come from?”

“Er, it just… appears?” he said, unhelpfully. It made sense to him.

James laughed. “Ah, Moony. Always here to help.” He threw an arm around Remus’ shoulder, which he shoved off with a roll of his eyes. 

“Many wizards have studied conjuration, and - you know Gamp’s Laws, right? -” she nodded slowly. “- right, well it’s more difficult than vanishing as you’re making something out of nothing, whereas when you’re vanishing something, it goes somewhere else. Creation is more difficult than destruction. If it helps, think about it as changing the air or space in front of you to what you’re conjuring.”

“Right, er… thank you, Potter,” she said, flushing red with embarrassment. James nodded slowly before going back to eating his pudding. A small smile was appearing on his face as he took a bite. Sirius turned to Remus whose jaw was hanging open with shock at the arrogant-free exchange. Before they could say anything, though, a Hufflepuff’s yelp was heard from across the Hall. 

The Marauders shared a glance and tried their best to hold in their fits of laughter as the entire Hall started becoming orange with pumpkins upon everyone’s shoulders. In order to “hide” the proof that it was them who started it, they had cast the spell on one another, as well, so, soon enough, they were sporting pumpkin heads, too. 

“I KNOW THIS WAS YOU, POTTER!” Marlene’s voice sounded to Remus’ left, though he had no idea how far away she was, as his entire vision was completely blocked. He decided quickly that he was not a fan of the smell of pumpkin.

Laughter and shouting was echoing through the room and Remus could hear the professors rising from the table and trying to decide what to do. Werewolf hearing at its finest.The effects of the jinx lasted not even a minute so the pumpkins were all gone as quickly as they had arrived. 

Dumbledore was back at the podium in seconds trying to regain control of the students. “Attention!” he declared loudly, prompting the sound in the Hall to die out. “I think this is probably a good time to wrap up the feast and for you all to return to your dormitories.” Remus heard Sirius thank Merlin under his breath at the joking tone in their headmaster’s voice. “So, off to your Common Rooms! Everyone except for a few particular Gryffindors,” he said, suddenly directing his gaze towards the Marauders.

They, somehow knowing that they would be singled out, were all pretending to be busy, looking up with feigned shock. James dropped his fork with a clatter and placed his hand over his chest dramatically. 

“Oh, you mean us?” he asked, lightly slapping his forehead in faked stupidity.

“I do, indeed, mean you four,” Dumbledore replied with a chuckle. Everyone laughed at them as Dumbledore shooed them off and out of the room. 

“I swear if he gives us detention tonight-” Sirius started but was cut off by the approach of both Dumbledore and McGonagall.

“That was interesting spellwork,” McGonagall said sternly. “More difficult than anything ever taught here. You managed to not only use a jinx, but evolve it into a spell casted upon everyone at a certain time.”

Sirius glanced at Remus who was scratching the back of his head. “Yes, Professor...” Sirius said slowly.

“Of course, you broke several rules doing this - I’m sure I do not have to name them,” she added. Remus could swear he could tell she wasn’t as angry as she was letting on. “Ten points from Gryffindor will be taken from each of you.

“You each will serve detention on Tuesday,” she said. “I’ll expect to see you in my classroom after dinner.”

Dumbledore’s eyes were twinkling as he stood beside their professor. “Now, before you get yourself into more trouble, I think it wise for you to return to the fun in your Common Room.”

No one said anything as they nodded and spun out of the Hall, but the smiles of success were upon each of their faces. Because one detention coming from McGonagall was completely unheard of with regards to the four of them. Best not for them to question it, Remus decided.

“ONE DETENTION AND ONLY FORTY POINTS TAKEN!” Sirius yelled the minute they entered through the portrait hole. The party decorations were almost finished and the students down there - already in costume - cheered victoriously. 

“If you tell everyone about it, she may change her mind,” Remus said with a chuckle as the four of them headed to their dormitory to change into their costumes for the party. 

“Are you going to tell us who you’re dressing up as, yet?” Peter asked Sirius, who was messily running between the mirrors, his trunk and the sink. 

“Nope, you’ll have to guess!” he said, reaching for his leather jacket off the floor and placing it around his shoulders. He then spun around. “Where is the face paint?” he asked with complete sternness.

“Why the hell would I know? Just use a temporary tattoo charm,” James replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“It takes away the magic! No pun intended.”

Sirius soon found his face paint lying under his bed, and disappeared into the bathroom. James was dressed like a Muggle footballer that he’d seen a photo of once in a magazine in London. Peter, of course, after receiving some old comics Remus found in his room, was going as Batman, which Remus found rather funny. 

Remus, himself, struggled the most finding something to dress up as, and ended up just placing on a pair of brown bell bottoms and a particularly ugly button-up and called himself a muggle. Frankly, a good amount of the students wouldn’t find it lame, but he knew the ones that knew muggles would roll their eyes.

“You ready?” Sirius said, throwing open the bathroom door to reveal the costume and makeup he had put together. 

“Bloody hell, Padfoot,” James said, rolling his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Death on Two Legs is written and sung by Queen  
> \- A Night at the Opera is an album by Queen


	7. Festivities and Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big Gryffindor Halloween party starts, someone suggests a Muggle game, and confusing feelings arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that I am a week late! Totally my bad. I realized while writing this that I am 100% writing myself into Remus.   
> But anyways, I hope you enjoy! :)

“Eh?” Sirius asked, gesturing to his costume. He was wearing his leather jacket over a white shirt, and had on black jeans and Dr. Marten’s. The real difference between this and his regular look was the large sparkly red lightning bolt painted over his face. 

“What even are you?” Peter asked.

“I’m Bowie! Aladdin Sane?” he asked with astoundment at Peter’s confusion. “You’ve listened to him before, surely you know who I am talking about!” 

“I do like the glitter,” James joked, reaching towards Sirius’ face. “Beautiful.”

“Shove off.” 

“Right, let’s go down,” Remus interrupted before it could become a big deal.

…

There was an assortment of food in the Common Room along with butterbeer and some stronger alcoholic beverages. Sirius was drawn towards the firewhiskey immediately, and Remus groaned internally. He grabbed himself a butterbeer mainly because he never wanted to drink anything strong, ever. Nothing sounded less appealing to him than to be out of control of himself. The full moons took away his control completely, he didn’t want to lose it intentionally simply by becoming drunk.

Lily approached him to where he was standing by Peter. “Hey, Remus. Nice costume,” she added sarcastically. “A muggle? Real original.” She was grinning, however. 

“Evans!” James cried when he saw her. Remus noticed his eyes widen with surprise. “I-I like your costume.”

“Er, thanks,” she said with confusion. “Remus picked it out for me.” 

Sirius started cackling with laughter and slapped Remus on the back. For Lily was wearing a headband with doe ears and had painted her nose black. “Ah, the doe to your deer, Prongsie!” 

Lily looked confused, but before she could say anything, Marlene and Dorcas appeared at her side. “Great, you’re finally here. We were going to play a game,” she explained. Remus noticed Marlene was standing rather close to Dorcas, but didn’t think much of it. 

“Mary wants to play that Muggle game we played last year,” Marlene stated. 

“Which one?” Lily asked.

“The one where you have to answer questions or do the dares, remember?” 

“I don’t know if that’s the wisest idea…” Lily started.

“Come on, Lily!” Dorcas cried. “What kind of Gryffindor are you?!” This was clearly enough to change her mind. 

“Fine, but no younger kids, then.” A nearby third-year rolled their eyes. 

Marlene announced to the room that the sixth and seventh-years were playing truth or dare - Lily had to remind her of the name - and most of them were quick to circle up, despite not knowing the rules.

Remus supposed he had nothing better to do than to play, so he and the Marauders joined the circle with Lily, Mary, Dorcas, and Marlene in their year, and then a few others from the year above them.

Mary quickly explained the rules. “So I’ll start by picking someone and asking them if they want to answer a question truthfully - truth - or if they want to complete a dare. Once they do it, they’ll pick the next person and so on. Got it?” 

James and Sirius were practically buzzing with excitement. “Lily, truth or dare,” Mary asked. 

Lily looked thoughtful for a moment. “Truth.”

“If you had to kiss someone in this circle, who would it be?” 

Remus sighed. He had never played the game, himself, before, but he knew what it was and came to the realization that most dares and questions asked by teenagers were going to be related to who they found attractive.

“Really?” Mary nodded with a smirk. “Okay… Um, don’t take offense to this, but I wouldn’t kiss you, unless I actually  _ had _ to, but, uh, yeah, Remus,” she stammered awkwardly. 

Remus turned red and James eyed him with a strange look on his face that Remus wasn’t able to identify. “Er, okay,” he replied, and a bunch of the girls started giggling. Great, that’s all he needed - them thinking he fancied Lily.

Lily asked Marlene, who chose to do a dare. “I dare you to sit in Dorcas’ lap for the rest of the game.” Marlene whipped around to face Lily and narrowed her eyes at her, rising slowly to move to where Dorcas sat, just as suspicious. Everyone shot confused glances at one another, but, again, didn’t question it. 

They went around a few times, some of the girls asking one another who they’d shag and whatnot, but it was particularly uneventful. James was eventually asked by Mary, and he chose dare.

“I dare you to kiss…” she purposefully and dramatically trailed off.

“Who?” James asked, sending a glance towards Lily, who looked nervous.

“She’s very smart, very mature! When you think of Gryffindor, you think of her!” 

“Well, who?” James repeated, again looking extremely hopeful. All of those signs pointed to Lily...

“The Fat Lady,” she said casually. 

“What?!” James cried. Sirius started laughing maniacally and reached over to high-five Mary.

“Have a problem, Potter?” she asked innocently. “Not gonna refuse a dare, are you?” 

“Of course, not, MacDonald! I am no coward!” he declared, leading the laughing group to the outside of the portrait-hole. 

“Where are you all going past curfew?” the Fat Lady said with irritation. 

“Out for a kiss, milady,” James said confidently, before leaning in and pressing his lips upon the portrait. 

The Fat Lady shrieked and jumped back immediately, so James hardly kissed her, rather just placed his lips upon the canvas. “What in Godric’s name are you doing?!” she shouted as everyone laughed and slapped James on the back with praise.

“Find a new crush, then, Prongs?” Remus asked him as they re-entered the Common Room before Filch could find and punish them.

“You’re one to talk,” James said bitterly as he walked past them towards where they had been sitting. 

James dared Dorcas to go sledding down the dormitory stairs, which she did with surprising amounts of grace before she chose Sirius.

“Black, truth or dare?” she asked. 

Sirius bit his lip. “Dare.” Remus rolled his eyes. All anyone wanted to do was dares. He had chosen truth when it was his turn, and had to explain the girlfriend he’d had the summer before fourth year. Gryffindors and their dares...

“I dare you to snog... “ she looked throughout the circle, trying to pick someone. “Melly,” she decided, gesturing towards a tall dark-haired seventh-year. Remus had never spoken to her, before, but he’d obviously seen her plenty of times. 

Sirius smirked as they both stood and met in the middle of the circle. When Melly grabbed the sleeves of Sirius’ jacket and pulled his face into hers, Remus frowned. A couple of wolf-whistles were heard but Remus was too out of it at that moment to really make sense of them.

Melly pulled Sirius away from the group as the kiss deepened. Remus couldn’t explain the feeling that went through him as he watched the scene unfold. 

Anger boiled within him - something he couldn’t explain the cause of. It was strange, he just wanted to go over there and pull the two apart. He didn’t even know Melly personally, why did he feel so furious?

“Well, seeing as they are busy, we might as well ask someone else,” Mary said, laughing. “Remus, truth or dare?” 

Remus turned back to look at her, but still felt tense and distracted. “Um, dare.” 

“Kiss Lily.” There was a gasp of disapproval that was heard from James.

“What?!” he cried, now fully paying attention.

“Lily said she’d kiss you if she had to, so she does. Kiss her,” Mary said.

Remus turned to look at James who was staring at the floor awkwardly. Lily was blushing and stared up at the Common Room ceiling, protesting Mary’s nudges. 

“Go on!” Mary urged. Remus frowned and quickly pecked Lily on the lips. It would’ve been more awkward had he been more aware, but his mind was still on how upset he felt by Sirius and Melly snogging. They were on one of the sofas, snogging even more deeply now. Sirius had one hand in her hair and the other was up the back of her shirt. 

Realizing how confused and upset he felt, Remus chose to excuse himself to where the drinks and snacks were to take a moment to just lean against the wall and figure out what the hell was going on.

He took a sip of his butterbeer and tried not to make his stares at the couple obvious. It made no sense to him in any way. How could one even feel jealousy towards a person he didn’t even know? He didn’t want to snog Melly, himself, but he just wanted them to stop. He came to the conclusion that he was jealous that they were snogging because he was single and hadn’t kissed anyone in years.

But that didn’t explain why he felt nothing when kissing Lily except the flooded amounts of emotions towards Sirius and Melly’s snogging session. 

James joined Remus by the table, then, interrupting his thoughts. “Hey, Moony. Look, I’m sorry I thought you liked Evans… I could tell you were uncomfortable, I just got jealous,” James said, running his hand through his hair. 

“It’s alright, really. I think you’d have a shot with her if you weren’t so arrogant about the entire deal. I think she feels like you are only doing it to embarrass her or lead her on.”

“Oh… Of course not, I really like her! I get all happy inside when she smiles, and she’s so honest - not afraid to show her emotions. And everyone that gives her shit for being Muggle-born is dumb not only because the discrimination is wrong but because they should know that she is so brave and will hex you in seconds!” James rambled, grinning in Lily’s direction. He looked so at ease when he looked at her, he could tell how genuine his statement was.

“I know that, but she doesn’t. Just… try and befriend her, first? Maybe you could come to our study sessions? You had a civil conversation about transfiguration, earlier, remember?” Remus asked.

“That’s true… Maybe I will go,” he said matter-of-factly. “Thanks, Moony. We gotta get you a girlfriend.” 

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah.”

James just smiled kindly before returning to the game, quick to go back to doing dares.

…

Remus was lying in bed pretty late that night (or the next morning - it was that late) when Sirius finally returned to their dormitory.

Peter’s snores were echoing through the room, but that was the only noise audible until Sirius loudly shut his trunk. 

“Oi!” James loudly whispered, sitting up straight in bed.

“Sorry!” Sirius snapped. Remus decided to not open his curtains, and to pretend to sleep. “Arnolds and I decided to go official.” 

“Fantastic, Pads. It’s 2:09am, and I was nearly asleep before you came fumbling around in here, waking up the entire castle!” 

Remus heard Sirius snort and wander into the bathroom so he let out a sigh before turning to lie on his face. 

Maybe he needed to just sleep on it, but he was even more angry that Sirius had chosen to date Melly. All he needed was the two being around each other constantly.

Sirius had dated a few girls in the past, but none of them have made Remus as angry as Melly. It really didn’t make any sense, what he felt, as he just wanted to pull Sirius away from her and keep him for himself.  _ Merlin, that sounded dirty… _ he thought. But, the more he thought about the statement, the truer it felt. He wanted no girls to date Sirius. Remus wanted to spend time with Sirius, just the two of them. He wanted to hang out with him. He wanted to live with him after school was over.

Great Godric, he wanted to be the only one to make Sirius smirk like that, to laugh, to make him blush… 

Holy shit, that couldn’t be true.

Sirius carelessly threw open the bathroom door loudly, once again, and Remus became distracted from his thoughts and found himself listening to Sirius’ movements through the dark room.

When silence arrived again, Remus felt himself start to panic at the conclusion he’d come to moments before and tried to convince himself otherwise. But the more he thought about everything, the more confused he became. Eventually, he fell asleep, his mind jumbled with thoughts, and he made the decision to just pay more attention to how he felt the next couple of days. He had to just be tired and jealous of his friend in a platonic way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius' costume was inspired by the Halloween episode of NyxRising's Marauders series on Youtube, titled Sonorus! You should totally check out the series and their channel, I love them :). I'll link the Halloween episode I referenced down below!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAOG1ZWd7wc
> 
> Also, Remus figuring out his sexual orientation is basically mirroring my own coming out story, so there's that haha  
> Thanks for reading :)


	8. Befuddling Feelings and Birthday Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus comes to a stronger conclusion about his feelings, but still finds himself scared and distraught by them, Sirius turns seventeen, and they all celebrate his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that I am a few weeks late in posting! I have been working and went on a road trip.  
> We are also hitting the time where it's just pining for Remus and some internalized homophobia.  
> CW - The word "queer" is used in a somewhat derogatory way, but nothing intentionally harmful.

The first of November happened to be on a Monday, so most of the student body found themselves grumpily arriving at the Great Hall for breakfast. As Remus didn’t drink anything the night before other than butterbeer, he wasn’t feeling as awful as he assumed James and Sirius and most of the other Gryffindors were. Emotionally, he felt terrible, however. When he had woken up, he had gotten dressed and ready before the others and had told them he was going to run to the library to grab something before meeting them in the hall. Of course, he had no idea what he was retrieving, he just decided he couldn’t be around Sirius after the thoughts he’d had the night before.

He entered the Great Hall moments after the other Marauders had, and took a seat beside Peter, across from James and Sirius. About ten minutes went by before-

“Siri!” Remus heard a shrill voice shriek. Melly, walking beside some of the other seventh-years, left them to drape her arms around Sirius and gestured for James to scoot over on the bench. James only raised his eyebrows and allowed her to squeeze in between them. Melly smiled and leaned against Sirius, who eyed her for a split-second and took a rather long drink of his tea. 

As Remus watched them he felt the similar jealous anger boil within him that he felt the night before, which only frustrated him more. “I’m going back to the library. Meet you in charms?” he asked shortly. Sirius, looking slightly confused, looked up. 

“Okay, mate.” Remus grabbed a piece of toast and quickly departed the Hall before he could watch anything else.

He pulled out his Care of Magical Creatures essay when he found an empty table, but he couldn’t think enough to add anything more to what he already had. It was all so confusing, he didn’t understand how he could feel so jealous of Sirius and Melly. He refused to believe that he wanted to date either of them, but the thought still crept to the forefront of his mind. He didn’t even like Melly - in fact, she seemed rather annoying to him, to be honest. At a certain point, Remus was able to turn off his stressed brain and finish his essay until he had to leave.

Thanking Merlin that Melly didn’t have any lessons with them, he made it to Charms and took his usual seat in the back. They didn’t have assigned seating in that class, so they were free to sit wherever they pleased, but Remus didn’t change his spot often. Sirius, of course, plopped down beside Remus, maybe out of concern for why he’s kind of avoided the three that morning, but regardless, Remus was kind of pleased by it. 

“How’s Arnolds?” Remus asked with an ounce of harshness. 

Sirius appeared to not be aware of this. “Oh, er, she and I are a couple now.”

“I noticed,” he said, looking away towards the front of the classroom.

To Remus’ luck, Sirius was still completely oblivious to the bitterness behind both his statement and question. “Yeah. We could set you up with her friend? Erin Lewis, I think her name is?” 

“Er,” he started, not really expecting that. “Maybe.” Flitwick saved him from the rest of where that conversation could lead. 

Flitwick was teaching about the theory behind the water conjuring charm whilst the class was taking notes. Remus normally liked lecture days, because he could sit and listen and blend in more, but this particular day was different. Sirius was left-handed, and was sitting on Remus’ right side, meaning their arms would bump when they were writing. Again, this wouldn’t normally bother Remus, but every time Sirius’ arm hit his own, he felt painfully distracted again. He enjoyed the contact and it gave him a tingling feeling each time.

Around maybe the fourth time, Sirius turned to look up at Remus, and let out a small laugh at the repetitive bumping. Remus managed to smile back (hoping it didn’t look like a grimace) and moved over on the bench they were sharing.

…

Through the rest of the day, Remus tried to stay far enough away from Sirius where he wasn’t plagued with confusion but where it wasn’t generally noticeable. 

James had taken Remus’ advice from the night before and had forced Sirius to come to the study sessions with the other sixth-year Gryffindors, so they all were seated at the usual table in the back of the Common Room going over various subjects.

Throughout the entire time, Remus kept catching himself watching Sirius, who was sitting on his left. It was rather inconvenient - how could he possibly be expected to study when Sirius was over there looking like _that_.

In fact, the next few days were like that, as well. It was filled with torture and excitement. Watching Sirius, observing him and Melly together, feeling the jealous anger spiral. Because the more he watched Sirius, the more he realized how much he wanted something between them.

All feelings aside, the idea of this was bloody terrifying. In Muggle London, it was hardly legal to be in a relationship with the same sex. Hell, even if it was legal, most weren’t accepting. The Wizarding World didn’t even talk about it, but Remus assumed that if it wasn’t talked about, there wasn’t anything to know. Besides, the purebloods are so adamant that each person must marry and have a child with another magical person, so wouldn’t that be violating their idea of reproduction.

The whole topic was very heavy for Remus to think about, so he tried to push the legalities aside as much as he could to simply figure out his feelings. 

The third of November was Sirius’ birthday, but the Marauders collectively decided that they’d celebrate that weekend (it was a Hogsmeade weekend). Of course, that didn’t mean they weren’t going to celebrate a little at school. Remus had written to his mother and had gotten her to send him one of his old Beatles vinyl, so he was planning on giving Sirius an original copy of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. It was one of Remus’ favorites, and his mother already had her own copy, so he figured it was all right. 

When they all found themselves awake at the crack of dawn that morning, Sirius was already fully dressed and ready. 

“Merlin, Sirius, it’s hardly 7am!” James groaned, throwing his sheets off of himself and rolling out of his bed. 

Sirius appeared to be waiting for the moment they were all awake, and flipped his record player on to play his ABBA vinyl. Unsurprisingly, he managed to start the song right where he wanted.

“ _You are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen!_ ” Sirius sang along with the song. 

“Anyone else want to go back to sleep?” Peter asked, throwing himself back onto his bed. 

“Alright, fine,” Sirius grumbled, taking the record off and sliding it back into the cover. Remus watched carefully as he reached for his Please Please Me album, and placed that onto the player. 

“Prongs he’s not finished,” Remus said. He decided to start getting ready, himself, so he went to open his trunk. 

“Pads, if you play anything else that loudly at this time in the morning, I swear to Merlin, I’ll-” James was abruptly cut off by the opening of the next song Sirius decided to blast.

“ _Well she was just seventeen, and you know what I mean!_ ” Sirius screamed.

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake,” James said. The irritation was evident on his face. He and Peter retreated out into the bathrooms to get ready, leaving Remus alone in the dorm with Sirius.

Sirius, of course, was still lip-syncing to the Beatles, a sight Remus was struggling to avoid watching with such intent. 

Remus decided, because he could be a prick, too, to toss his pillow at the other so hard, it knocked him off of his trunk and backwards onto his bed. 

“Oi!” He cried, though he was laughing. He chucked it back, but Remus caught it swiftly. 

“Here, you git,” Remus said with a grin, and passed the wrapped gift to Sirius. 

“Aw, Moony,” Sirius said, dramatically pretending to wipe a tear from his cheek. He tore off the wrapping paper quickly, quite like a child on Christmas morning. “Bloody hell!” he shouted with glee. “Thanks!” 

Remus just nodded as though it were nothing, but he couldn’t erase the smile off his face with the pleasure of making Sirius happy. 

…

The rest of the week went particularly uneventfully - Remus kept his distance from the other Marauders, especially Sirius, and tried to make it as unobvious as possible. 

Sirius had chosen The Three Broomsticks for them to eat that Saturday and Melly, of course, decided that she was coming, as well.

Remus figured that she should be allowed to go, but that didn’t make him enjoy the idea any more. She’d clung to his arm the entire way down to the village, so Sirius stayed at the back of the group with Peter. 

“Here?” Melly suggested, her shrill voice irritating Remus more than he knew was possible. 

“Sure!” Sirius agreed, plopping down next to her. James sat across from her, then Remus, then Peter. Ah, yes, of course he was right across from Sirius the entire time. The barman looked overwhelmed with the amount of Hogwarts students filling the pub, but was at their table quickly to take their drink order. They each ordered a butterbeer, because what else would one get?

Melly planted a large kiss on Sirius’ cheek. Remus wondered what prompted that, but he supposed he wasn’t going to understand, regardless, so didn’t dwell on it. 

“Must you be so open with your affectionate displays?” Peter asked, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and fingers, as Sirius was pulled into a deep snog with his girlfriend.

Remus scoffed in agreement, staring at a random piece of wall decor placed across the pub. James cleared his throat at an attempt to get the couple’s attention, and proved to be the only one successful at pulling them apart. 

“Why, you jealous, Potter?” Sirius teased, his lips chapped. 

“Yeah, do you wanna snog Black?” she asked jokingly. Remus eyed Sirius closely after that. Obviously, the irony was astounding, but she referred to Sirius by only his surname. He noticed how Sirius’ shoulders tensed when the professors called for him, or how his hands flexed slightly when the Gryffindors at their table addressed him by it. Remus was unsure if the other Marauders were aware of it, but he knew he did.

“What if I do?” James shot back, his tone clearly suggesting that his retort was not true. Peter snorted. 

“You all are a bunch of queers,” Sirius said, laughing along with everyone. Everyone besides Remus, who suddenly felt uneasy. 

“Hey, we all know how many would be lining up to snog Sirius, how surprising is it?” James joked.

“I am dating someone, thank you very much,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Peter replied, “Doesn’t change the fact that nearly every girl in nearly every year - and the shirt-lifters, I suppose - would be more than willing to receive a kiss from the highly praised Sirius Black!” 

Remus thought he might pass out in relief at the return of the barman with their butterbeers. He took it as an opportunity to escape before he had a nervous breakdown without raising questions. He didn’t even know if anyone realized he’d left, but he didn’t quite care, he just sped to the loo and secured a lovely spot inside to allow himself to calm down.

…

Sirius hadn’t felt so at ease in a while. All of his friends at a table laughing together at a pub getting away from the stresses of their N.E.W.T.s and the war. 

As the barman set their butterbeers down, Sirius noticed Remus standing abruptly and practically running across the room, but didn’t think much of it. He actually just figured he was running to the loo to, well, use it at first, and didn’t suspect anything to be wrong until nearly ten minutes passed.

“You are all ordering fish and chips?” The barman asked, raising a single eyebrow in both disbelief and annoyance. 

“Well, if Moony actually came back, we could hear what he wants,” Peter mumbled. 

“He’s been gone quite a long time…” James said, turning around to glance at the doorway to the loo. “Go check on him, Pads?” Sirius nodded, looking somewhat relieved to be disentangled from Melly’s tight grasp. 

...

“You okay in here, Moony?” he asked upon entering the loo.

Shit, of course he had to come after him. Brilliant, just brilliant. “Yes, fine,” Remus replied, avoiding Sirius’ glance. It all was overwhelming him. All of the feelings he tried to avoid letting himself think about. And now the very person he couldn’t be around was alone with him. Lovely.

“We’ve been getting worried about you - you’ve been gone a while.”

Remus didn’t say anything. He wasn’t even in a stall, he just was leaning against the wall and was staring at the floor.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, okay?” Remus snapped.

“Alright, sorry… It’s just, you don’t look or sound fine.”

Again, he didn’t say anything, he just continued staring at the floor. Sirius placed his hand on Remus’ shoulder and it sent tingles down Remus’ spine. 

“What’s up?”

“I can’t tell you…” 

“Why not?” He asked, looking amused.

_Because if I tell you, you’ll freak and never talk to me again. Nor will the others. It’s just another thing making me different from you all. Poor Remus Lupin, the gay werewolf, possibly having feelings for his heterosexual best friend._

“I just can’t, I’m sorry.” Again, Remus stared at the ground to avoid Sirius’ eyes. That’s all he needed, direct eye contact with Sirius and his sparkling silver eyes. 

Sirius reached to Remus and pulled his chin up to face him. Remus, despite his attempts otherwise, blushed with embarrassment and still didn’t look him in the eye. He didn’t say anything, he just pulled Sirius’ hand off his chin and walked around him and went through the doorway and back into the main seating area. Sirius just stared in confusion before following him back to where they all sat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dancing Queen is by ABBA  
> I Saw Her Standing There is by The Beatles  
> Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is an album by The Beatles


	9. Quidditch and Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ravenclaw and Gryffindor face off for the first Quidditch match of the school year, and Dorcas has a conversation with Remus. They have more in common than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm very sorry it's been a month! I have been stressed recently - I was applying and registering for a local college I am taking classes at this school year and it's been a long, hard process!   
> But I always find ways to make time for the gays- I mean, guys! I'm in love with Dorcas and Marlene, which I find kind of funny given that they are mentioned maybe twice in the entire book series, but I'm basically a side character in my own life, so Dorcas and Marlene and I vibe.

The full moon, which had fallen the following day, went as well as they possibly could, considering it entailed going to hell and back.

Remus fell into a routine pretty quickly to avoid having to actually deal with his feelings - of course, that never really ends up working, does it? The thing was, he’d almost manage to forget about them until they’d suddenly resurface at the most inconvenient of times - in the middle of a DADA duel wasn’t the best time to be noticing the way Sirius’ hair fell around his eyes when it was pulled back into a bun.

Remus Lupin considered himself a master at keeping secrets from people. He was sure that the other Marauders were suspecting something, as he was definitely acting a bit strangely, but he knew they were attributing it to anxieties regarding the war. 

The same could be said about Lucius Malfoy - the acting strangely - and some of the other older students, though most were pretty certain that they were nervous about different things. Malfoy, in particular, seemed to be under the impression that he was now all this and more - no thanks to Dumbledore giving him the role of head boy. That, combined with his probable status as a soon-to-be Death Eater, made for a rough experience for most of the prefects. 

Remus had all of his rounds with Lily, luckily, as Dumbledore didn’t want any student alone in the corridors, and Lucius and Narcissa both weren’t fans of either of them. McGonagall cleared it with the heads to have Remus on nights that didn’t fall around the full moon - using the excuse that he had to go visit his sick mother.

On one particular evening in mid-November, the conversations that Remus and Lily typically filled with revisions or rants about their workload took a turn.

“And it’s just so confusing because he does every potion right in class, but comes to me with questions on the assignments nearly every day now,” Lily explained. It was true, James wasn’t awful at potions, even if he wasn’t in the Slug Club.

“And what do you do when he asks?” Remus asked.

“Well, I explain it, I guess. Like, the other day, he asked me about aconite leaves, even though we’ve used them for  _ years _ , and then we got into a discussion about them! It was nearly ten minutes of civil conversing!” she said, still shocked. Little did she know, they’d actually talked for twenty minutes, and the conversation veered quickly away from the subject of aconite leaves after a simple comment on them. 

James was ecstatic to study every night, Remus noticed, solely because he could finally have conversations with her, even if they were regarding school.

“Sounds to me like you didn’t hate it, then?” Remus asked as they rounded the corner of the corridor and pushed through a tapestry into the next. 

“I don’t know what to think, Remus.” 

“I mean… I suppose it’s pretty obvious you don’t fancy him back, but… he really does like you.”

“And how do I  _ know  _ that? How do I know that what he does isn’t just out of pure arrogance?” She had a point. James didn’t exactly understand that gaining the entire Common Room’s attention by asking her out was not the best way to go about receiving a “yes” in response.

“Listen…” he started. “I don’t know what’s going through James’ head most of the time. He and Sirius can be pretty big gits most days.” Lily laughed at that and looked like she was going to correct him and say that they were like that all of the time. Remus carried on before she could. “But I do know one thing: he really cares for you.”

“He hardly knows me.”

“But he wants to. He told me once that you could reject him every day until the day he dies, and he would be happy just to be your friend. I know that it’s not exactly… er, right… for him to continue to ask after you’ve told him to sod off, but I know he’s not  _ trying  _ to be a jerk. I could talk to him if you want, maybe I can get it into his head that he is being a prat.” 

“Well, I suppose it isn’t too big of a deal…” she started. “In fact, I could probably handle him being around if he grew up a bit and didn’t ask me out.”

“I can let him know that, if you’d like?” Remus suggested. “Just the bit about him having to mature and take your no for an answer.”

“Um, yeah. Don’t tell him I was talking about him, though, it’ll be far too detrimental for his already overflowing ego.” 

Remus laughed. “I will.” 

…

The first Quidditch match was the last weekend in November, the 27th, and Gryffindor was scheduled to be playing Ravenclaw. Remus, if he had to be honest, found Quidditch very boring, and he wasn’t even sure of most of the rules. Sure, he knew the basic idea - four balls, seven people, seeker catches snitch, quaffles into hoops, you know, the big things. But there were so many little rules and fouls that he didn’t take the time to figure out, as he didn’t see the point.

At breakfast, Sirius came entering the Great Hall proudly, and flopped into the seat across from Remus. “Hiya, Moony!” 

“Greetings,” he spoke without looking up from his cereal. “You nervous?”

“Me? Of course not!” he shouted triumphantly. Remus rolled his eyes.

James, who’d been chatting with another member of the team, appeared at Sirius’ side, and stated something about how they’d never be too nervous for quidditch, and Remus tuned it out.

Lily walked in with her friends and flopped next to Remus tiredly. “Mornin.’” 

“Hullo, Evans!” James greeted overenthusiastically. He had too wide of a grin on, it was kind of embarrassing. “Looking forward to the game?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m looking forward to some coffee. Pass the cup, will you, Remus?” she asked robotically. She was one of few that considered coffee to be superior to the more-accepted tea. 

“SIRI!” A shrill voice screeched. With a slightly overwhelmed glance shot towards Remus, Sirius turned to his girlfriend. “You forgot again!” 

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused. 

“Last night? You didn’t even show up!” 

Sirius looked scared for a second, clearly giving away that he did not remember. 

Melly looked as though she were on the brink of tears. “We never hang out together alone, it’s always with your friends. Even when we’re snogging it’s in the common room!” She had pulled Sirius away from the group, but they all were very much able to hear what they were saying. 

“I’m sorry, I really am,” Sirius assured. “I honestly didn’t remember. My friends and I were planning something, and-”

“See! It’s always them and never  _ us _ ! How do you think I feel, being your girlfriend and not even knowing more than five things about you?!” 

Sirius didn’t say anything, he just caught Remus’ eye and silently pleaded for him to help. Maybe it was a bit rude, but Remus just looked away and took a large sip of his tea. When he turned, Dorcas was eyeing him oddly. 

Looking back at the couple, he heard Sirius say, “I’ll be right over, just let me tell the mates.” Melly sniffed and then went to go sit at the other end of the Gryffindor table.

Sirius spun his beater bat around nervously and looked towards the door. “Prongs, you wanna go out early and fly around?”

“Er, aren’t you gonna go sit with your girlfriend?” James asked confusedly, though Sirius didn’t respond. “Um, okay. I’ll see you out there, then?” He asked the others. “McKinnon, you want to go out, too?” 

“Sure,” she said, taking one more bite out of her toast. Remus noticed her place a hand on Dorcas’ shoulder before she walked with Sirius and James out of the Great Hall. 

Melly returned within seconds. “Where’s Sirius?” 

“Er,” Lily started, glancing towards the door.

“I’m so done with him,” she mumbled, leaving the remaining five of them sitting there awkwardly. 

“Is she going to break up with him?” Peter asked, breaking the silence. 

“Seems like it to me,” Lily said, finishing her coffee. “Well, we have about an hour until the game, and I need to run to the dorm to grab my scarf. You need anything?”

“I’ll go with you,” Peter replied. “I left my gloves up there.” 

“We’ll meet you out there, then?” Dorcas asked. “We can get the good seats in the tower.”

“Sounds good.” 

Mary turned towards them and asked, “Is it okay if I go out with Reg?”

“Yeah, of course,” Dorcas said. “Do you want us to save you a seat?” 

“Yes, please!”

…

After finishing his cereal - it had gone all soggy through all the fuss - Remus walked with Dorcas out to the pitch.

It was awkward, as neither were saying much - that was, until Dorcas asked him a terrifying question. 

“There’s something you’re not telling us, right?” Remus felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” 

“You may have been able to fool the others, but they’re oblivious as hell, it’s probably not too hard.”

“I don’t know what you’re on about…” Remus said anxiously. The Marauders accepting his lycanthropy was already more than he could ever hope for, there’s no way anyone else was going to let him be around them. 

“I’m not stupid, so don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. If you didn’t know, I’m more observant than you think.”

He stared at her, trying his best to rid his face of any emotion or fear. 

“Ugh, whatever. If you aren’t going to fess up, then I’ll just talk. I  _ was _ going to say that I know what it’s like being in your shoes.”

Remus knew for a fact that she couldn’t be talking about the lycanthropy, now, because he would know if there was another werewolf within Hogwarts, he’d be able to sense it. But, he still was unsure what she was talking about. “What do you mean?”

“I  _ mean _ , I see the way you look at Black.” 

“ _ Sirius _ ,” Remus corrected before hearing what she had said. When it had become comprehended, he stopped in his tracks. “Wait, what?!”

“Exactly.”

“You need your vision checked, because clearly I do not- what?” he asked upon the raising of her eyebrows. 

“Well, again, if you aren’t going to fess up, then listen to me when I say: I know what you’re going through.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you like him, too!” he said simply, until realizing what he said. “Shit, I didn’t… uh…”

“Uh-huh,” she said sarcastically. “No, I do not fancy him. I understand what it’s like to fancy someone of your same gender.” 

Remus stared at her, almost tripping over his own feet. “Er, really?”

“Yup.” They walked out the back castle doors and started down the path to the Quidditch pitch. “I know how isolating it feels, especially considering what everyone else thinks.”

He hummed in agreement. “Does anyone else know?” 

“I should hope Marlene does.” She watched his eyes widen in understanding.

“So that’s… That makes a lot of sense, actually,” he said, smiling. 

“Yeah. Other than her, no. Though I do think Lily is onto us. She keeps saying things like, ‘Don’t stay out too late, girls,’ and don’t even mention the dare Marlene was given at the Halloween party. To sit in my lap! Honestly, I’m almost positive she knows, but none of us are saying anything.”

He laughed. “How’d you two get together?”

“Oh, gosh, it was fourth year when I realized I fancied her. Of course, I went through the initial panic and confusion where I questioned my entire existence.”

“Oh, yes, that stage,” he said, knowing exactly what she meant. 

“Yeah, and then months went by, and I didn’t do or say anything. I just hopelessly pined - quite like you!” 

“Ha-ha.”

“Pfft. And then, one night in April, we’d snuck out after curfew to go to the kitchen and we heard Filch coming so we jumped into this broom closet, and, well, I guess it was the adrenaline from being chased that got me WAY too brave and I kissed her.”

Remus quickly imagined what would happen if he kissed Sirius after being chased by Filch, and he assumed that doing something like that would result in a shove and, probably, a slap.

“I then realized what I’d done and was like, ‘oops, I don’t know why I did that,’ and then she kissed  _ me. _ Of course, then we had to run more and when we arrived at the kitchens, we talked a bit - awkwardly, I might add - and then we agreed to try it out and, well, yeah, we’ve been together for a year and-a-half!” 

“Wow, well, that’s awesome,” he said. 

“Yeah,” Dorcas replied, smiling. “It’s hard, though, just knowing that we have to keep it secret.”

“Yeah.” 

Dorcas was half-blood - her parents were both wizards, but they had Muggle family and they were mostly educated on Muggle culture. That didn’t mean she understood much of Muggle politics and activism and all that, but even she knew the views of the Muggle world on these types of relationships. It was hardly even legal, being in a relationship with someone of the same gender, let alone accepted. 

They had reached the Quidditch stands, then, and were finally climbing the steps. Remus spoke again, “I assume the wizarding world isn’t any more accepting than the Muggle world? I mean, I’ve never heard them talking about it.”

“It’s only spoken about negatively. Marls told me that one of her uncles is gay, but he still was forced to marry a woman and had a child with her. They don’t even have a relationship, and I’m pretty sure he’s intimate with a man. But he’s still officially married to her.”

“I guess that makes sense, as horrible as that is,” Remus said. They’d finally taken their seats in the Quidditch pitch, but it was too loud for anyone to hear them. “I mean, if purebloods care so much about continuing the pureblood name, of course they wouldn’t want you to be with someone you couldn’t naturally bear a child with.”

“Yeah, it’s messed up.” They sat there for a moment, watching as the Ravenclaw chasers passed the quaffle up and down the pitch. “Well, we try to look for the fun of hiding it. I mean, we share a dorm, I can have her over in the summers and she can share my room, not to mention everyone is so unobservant, it’s quite easy to hide it.”

“Haha, sounds about right.”

“Well, what’re you going to do?” she asked.

“Me? About what?” 

“Don’t think I forgot about  _ your _ predicament.” Remus stared at her. “About Black?”

“ _ Sirius _ ,” he corrected again. At her confused look, he explained. “He doesn’t like being referred to by his surname.”

“Oh, my bad. Did he tell you that?” 

“Well,  _ no _ , but I’ve noticed it.”

“And I said I was the observant one. Well, it helps to be pining for that person.” Remus scoffed. “But, yeah, what’re you going to do?”

“I can’t do anything. The feelings aren’t mutual,” he said with dismissal. 

Dorcas looked at him sadly, and pulled her black curls out of her face. “I still think you should tell him.” 

“Ha!” Remus laughed sarcastically. “Because that would go so well. In case you’ve forgotten, he is  _ not _ gay. He’s had an uncountable number of girlfriends, Melly is the only one that’s lasted longer than a week, of course,” he stated.

“Well… listen, it took me a lot of thought to figure out if you were… gay… but I wouldn’t have suspected it had I not had some signs.”

“Whoa, what?!” he asked, startled. That’s all he needed, being more obvious. 

“Well  _ clearly  _ only I’ve noticed them. I mean, you do stare at Sirius quite a lot. Even though you’ve been pretty noticeably distancing yourself. Not to mention, there are girls who look at you, and you’ve  _ never _ once turned their way. I’ve also noticed how much more comfortable you are around your mates. You aren’t like that around others.”

Remus wanted to argue back that the only reason he was like this was because they were the only ones who knew of his lycanthropy. But, of course, he couldn’t do that.

“I remember back at the beginning of school and in the summer you’d had a fight with Sirius. You looked so heartbroken all of the time, you didn’t seem to care that all of your other friends were still there. Not that you were being rude, but we could tell how sad you were.”

He just stared at her, his heart rate rising. This was all too much. He thought he was doing a damn fine job hiding his feelings, but apparently not. 

“What does this have to do with anything?”

She sensed his anxiety. “Hey, I only know because I understand. All this to say, I get one of those vibes  _ even more _ with Sirius.”

Remus let out a hearty laugh. “Okay, now  _ that’s _ mental.”

Dorcas smoothed out her robes. “Is it?”

Just then, they spotted Lily and Peter making their way over with Mary at their heels. 

“Sorry!” Lily called. “Peeves was wreaking havoc on the seventh floor corridor, we had to wait for the Bloody Baron to come and stop him!” 

“Don’t tell me he was going in the suits of armour again,” Remus groaned.

“Yup,” Lily said. “Scooch.” They slid down the row, so Remus was now on the end against the wall, Dorcas on his right. 

They chatted for about twenty more minutes until the game was about to start, but none of it was anything to do with romance, something Remus was thankful for. He was starting to feel overwhelmed with it all again. 

…

“Cauldwell, Whitbey, you warmed up?” James called to the other chasers as they made their way back into the locker room. Both the Ravenclaw and the Gryffindor teams were allowed ten minutes of warming-up on the pitch before the game started. 

“Yep,” Aaron Cauldwell called, unmounting his broom. 

“Great,” James said. “Now, we have to start this season off with a win to set up the rest of the year and the cup.” He turned to Hestia Jones. “Jones, I want you to try and distract the other seeker as much as you can, to help our chasers get in as many points as possible. Only go for the snitch if you absolutely have to.”

She nodded. “Goldstein isn’t easily fooled, but I think I can pull it off.”

“Awesome. As for the beaters, we don’t have to hit the bludgers as hard as we do when playing Slytherin, but don’t come across as too friendly, because I’m not sure how nicely they’re playing.” 

Marlene smirked, “Yes, we must only tap them.” 

James laughed. “Nice. Sirius, don’t hit the balls too hard,” he joked, wiggling his eyebrows. Ah, James and his sex jokes. Classic.

“Oi! I have a girlfriend!” he cried in protest, but the entire team was laughing too hard to hear him.

The whistle blew, notifying them that it was time for them to fly out and begin. 

“Let’s get them,” James encouraged, and everyone whooped as they flew out.

…

A Hufflepuff, by the name of Stan Madley was commentating the match, and as he was announcing the starting lineup of the teams, Dorcas leaned towards Remus and whispered in his ear. 

“On the bright side, you now get to watch Sirius on a broom.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

Remus sputtered, embarrassed.

“Why do you think I enjoy these so much?” He watched as Marlene spun around on her broom and winked at Dorcas.

“Great, now that you’ve said that, that’s all I’m going to be thinking about!” 

“What?” Lily asked, overhearing Remus’ complaint 

“Nothing!” he and Dorcas said at the same time. 

…

In the end, Gryffindor caught the snitch, after already being the lead by 120 points. James gave Hestia the go-ahead to go after it, as they already had the high point boost they needed to put them in a good place for the Quidditch cup.

The game lasted roughly three hours, leaving there quite a lot of time for partying in the Common Room. Dorcas, Remus, Lily, Peter and Mary met the other three outside the locker rooms immediately following the match.

“Nice job out there,” Remus complimented, smiling at Sirius. Dorcas snorted from behind him and Remus sent her a rude hand gesture the minute Sirius wasn’t looking. 

“I left something in the locker rooms,” Marlene said. “Wanna go look for it with me, Dorcas?” 

“Sure,” she said, glancing at Remus, who knowingly smiled. Lily looked at the girls with suspicion. 

“Do you mind if I come, too?” she asked. Marlene froze.

“Uh, of course not, let’s go,” she replied, narrowing her eyes. They walked back into the locker rooms without speaking.

“Well, that was weird,” James spoke. “Anyways, who’s ready to party?”

Remus groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite part about this was that the Saturday at the end of November in 1976 is November 27th, and that's my birthday lol. Quidditch, almost thirty years before, was played on my birthday :P.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! We're almost to December, which will include a scene I am very excited to write...   
> Have an awesome day! I love you all and you are amazing <33


	10. Secrets and Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders start their process of deciding on a prank to do for the holidays, Dorcas and Marlene finally come out with a secret, and Remus is faced with even more confusing thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Semi-forced coming out and homophobic responses.  
> Hey, I'm actually writing within a week of the last chapter! Wow, I'm surprised at myself lol. I really got into the zone while writing this chapter, and I'm actually ahead on the next one?   
> Haha, enjoy!

“What are you four up to?” Madam Pince hissed, startling all of them.

James nearly fell backwards out of his chair. Sirius slammed a book shut. 

“Homework!” Peter squeaked. 

“Hmph,” she said disbelievingly. “Well, curfew is in five minutes, so I suggest if you’d like to avoid detention, that you’d make your way out of the library.” Then she turned on her heel and traversed back to her seat. 

“Think you can switch the spines quickly?” Remus muttered to James, who nodded and performed a spell to swap the spine of the book they were all looking through with an astronomy book Peter had quickly grabbed. “Great, I’ll meet you in the hall.” 

Sirius nodded and the three of them quickly sped out of the library to wait for Remus.

“Can I check this out quickly?” Remus asked. Madam Pince narrowed her eyes and wrote down the title on a piece of parchment and handed it to him. What she would do with the knowledge that they were actually checking out a book on intensive weather spells, he didn’t know. 

“Got it,” he stated triumphantly when he successfully reached the corridor. 

“Yes!” Sirius cheered. “I was worried she wouldn’t trust us.”

“Us? When have we ever given her reason not to?” Remus joked as they hurried off to the Common Room. 

They all crowded onto the large sofa in the Common Room and Remus opened the book to the page they were at. “I don’t see anything we could use, though.”

“Have you looked at anything that talks about how they enchant the ceiling?” Peter asked. “Maybe it’ll be related to that?”

“I don’t think so,” Remus said. He became slightly distracted when Sirius nudged a little too close to him. Their thighs were touching. 

“Can we take a regular charm and magnify it to take effect through the entire school?” Sirius asked. He reached across to where the book sat in Remus’ lap and started flipping the pages to the precipitation section. Remus’ heart fluttered - Sirius, without realizing it, of course, was leaning almost all the way on Remus. When Remus came to the realization that he was considering Sirius to smell good, he tensed up greatly.

“How about  _ you _ look?” he urged, pushing the book onto the other’s lap, prompting a strange look out of him.

The idea had come to them after Peter, when attempting to shoot sparks out of his wand, ended up shooting snowflakes. Of course, he didn’t know  _ how _ it happened, so here they were researching snow spells. They were planning on blanketing the inside of the castle in snow as their holiday prank.

“Here!” James cried, snatching the book out of Sirius’ hands. “‘ _Nix domesticus_ _i_ s a spell that can allow the sorcerer the ability to create snow, no matter the setting. The snow created does not react to temperature changes, so it may not melt’” he read. “Brilliant!”

“D’you think we can reuse the same spell we used for Halloween to apply it to the entire school?” Peter asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Remus said. “That was to apply the spell to every student, I don’t think it’d work on the halls.”

“How would we even cast it?” Sirius asked. “Charm the bloody ceiling to snow for us? Or would we have to sneak out and manually create it in every corridor.”

“Yeah, and how would we get into each Common Room?” Remus added. “This’ll be a lot.” 

“We could use the time spell again, you know, and then start charming tomorrow all for the same time?” Peter suggested. “How much snow can you even create?” 

James suddenly smiled an evil grin. “We’ll have to test it.” The four of them sat impatiently by the fire for nearly two hours waiting for the rest of the Gryffindors to go to bed. It seemed they all knew that they were waiting for them to leave, and were taking a long time on purpose.

Eventually, Dorcas came in through the portrait hole, Marlene at her hip. At the sight of the Marauders and the two third-years who were still in the Common Room, they immediately spread apart. 

“Hullo,” Marlene said with forced casualness. Lily came down the dorm stairs at that moment. 

“There you two are! Where were you?!” 

“Er, asking Flitwick a question?” Dorcas offered up. Marlene groaned and collapsed onto the armchair by the fire, across from where Remus was. He was still sitting on the sofa, trying to read through his essay, and Sirius and James were in the corner of the Common Room racing their levitating quills. Peter was busying himself with chess, trying to strategize moves. 

“Right.” The suspicion was evident in her tone. “Well when you’re ready to tell me what you were actually doing, I’ll be in the dorm.” She spun around and walked back up the stairs to their room.

“What’d you do?” James called, setting the quill down. 

“We didn’t do anything,” Dorcas shot, squeezing next to Marlene on the armchair.

Remus hummed and Dorcas gave him a sad, and slightly scared, look. He tried to give an encouraging smile, but he looked scared as well. 

“When will you be going to bed, then? I’m tired!” Sirius whined, and to Remus surprise (and horror), he flopped across his lap. Dorcas snorted and went into an uncontrollable fit of laughter while Remus scowled at her. “Moonyyyyyy!” 

“Erm,” he cleared his throat. “Yes?” This was all too much. Sirius was laying the long way on the couch, meaning Remus was just underneath his arse. Far, far too much.

“Make them leave!”

“Are you drunk? What the hell is wrong with you?!” Remus exclaimed. He didn’t mean for it to sound rude, but it, sadly, came out that way. He needed Sirius to get off of him or he was going to go mad. 

“Uh,” Sirius stammered. He sat up and looked at Marlene and Dorcas - who had stopped laughing - and then swallowed roughly. 

…

Sirius wasn’t sure what was up with Remus lately. For about the past month, things between them were less, er, normal. Just when he thought that things were going back to how they used to be before his prank, Remus started pulling away again. He tended to do that whenever something changed in him. When they first showed up at Hogwarts, Remus spent most of their first year distant. He’d  _ never _ talk about himself or his home life, which Sirius understood, considering his own personal life wasn’t much to brag about. And then when the Marauders figured out his secret, he spent weeks drawn into himself, rarely even around them. Just when they got their Moony back, they began the process of becoming animagi, and then he, out of fear of hurting them, started avoiding them again.

And here he was, doing it once more. Part of him thought it was just apprehensiveness due to the war beginning to rage around them. But the other part just  _ knew _ that couldn’t be it. The worst thing about it, was that he was tense and awkward only around  _ him _ . When watching Remus with his other friends, he was comfortable, he conversed with them, he was  _ himself _ . And Sirius hadn’t seen him like that around himself in months.

Sirius sat up off of Moony, embarrassed, and looked around at the others. Dorcas eyed him strangely and Marlene looked similar to James and Pete: confused. 

“Sorry,” he apologized. He supposed he was in the wrong, he did drape himself dramatically over the couch onto him. 

“No, I… I’m sorry, I don’t know why I shouted,” Remus said, blushing. His face was in his hands.

The six of them were sitting there, staring at the floor awkwardly, when Dorcas finally rose and grabbed Marlene’s elbow. “Er, well, we’re leaving now, so you might as well get started with whatever you four have planned.” Remus waved and Dorcas smiled at him.

As they made their way up to the dorm, whispering to each other, James started throwing and catching his snitch. That’s one way to distract yourself from the seemingly growing silence.

…

“Okay, are you going to tell us what’s going on here?” Lily stated, sitting at the end of her bed in her pajamas. She was twirling her hair in her hands as she spoke.

Mary walked into the dorm from the bathroom quietly and, while listening, rummaged through her trunk.

“I’m not…” Marlene trailed off anxiously. Dorcas inched away from her, but it didn’t go unnoticed. 

“There’s something between you two, isn’t there?” Lily asked, though she knew the answer already. “I knew it.”

Dorcas let out one hysterical, gasping laugh. It was more of a sob, because when she looked up again, she was tearful. “Why the fuck am I crying?” she asked, through another sob. Trembling, she sat down on her bed and Marlene followed, grabbing her arm.

“What’s wrong?” Mary asked, dropping everything and running to Dorcas’ other side. Lily made it there at the same time. 

“I’m sorry,” Lily cried. Tears welled up in her own eyes. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I just felt hurt that you didn’t tell me, and I got selfish! That’s not okay of me, this is about you two!” 

Marlene wrapped her arms around Dorcas and Dorcas cried into her shoulder. “I actually don’t k-know why I’m crying! It seems so stupid.” 

“It’s not,” Mary assured. “I’m just… I’m not sure what we’re talking about.”

Marlene had a nervous expression displayed. Nevertheless, she and Dorcas both knew that it was time to come out with it. “Dorcas and I are, well, we are a couple.”

Mary stared with wide-eyes, clearly not expecting that to be the case. “You mean…”

“They’re dating,” Lily said, wiping her own tears. “And I was a prat, because I  _ knew _ and was offended they didn’t tell me.”

“We’re sorry we’ve kept it a secret, it’s just not accepted by most and we didn’t want to risk getting outed to the world,” Dorcas stammered. When she glanced at Mary, she noticed that she still looked confused.

“It’s  _ okay _ ,” Lily said. “It’s my fault for not realizing that sooner.” 

“Wait,” Mary started. “Like, you’re  _ dating, _ dating? Dating as in…” She trailed off. A quick look at her told them that Mary wasn’t going to be as understanding as Lily was.

It may have been wiser to explain it, verbally, but Marlene settled for reaching and holding Dorcas’ hand. Mary stared at it.

“Oh.” It echoed throughout the room, the silence more audible than anything else. After what felt like minutes passed, Mary got up off the bed with them and retreated to her own bed. She shut the curtains and they didn’t hear from her again until the morning.

Lily’s gaze turned sympathetic, and she squeezed Dorcas’ shoulder and whispered, “I accept you both,” and then returned to her bed.

Marlene wasn’t sure what to do, but she grabbed Dorcas’ hand and pulled her to stand. “Want to go and talk about it?” she said, hardly audible.

She shook her head. “Can we just… go back to the Common Room?”

“Of course, love,” she replied, kissing her on the cheek. They pushed the door open and made it to the balcony by the stairs when they saw it.

Snow. 

In the Common Room. 

Nearly twice their height and all the way up to the tops of the stairs.

…

“God, you two are ridiculous,” James groaned after minutes of halted conversation. “Can we start the spell now?” 

“Yes! Merlin, yes!” Peter replied with great amounts of dramatic thankfulness. “You’re trying first?”

“Sure,” he agreed. Sirius ran over to where they were and stood on the other couch.

“Be careful,” Remus reminded, following Sirius. 

“ _ Nix Domesticus _ !” James enunciated. With a wave of his wand, the ceiling began to pour snow upon them and the rest of the Common Room. “Brilliant!”

“Whoa! It’s not melting in my hand!” Peter said in awe. He sculpted a snowball in his hand and sent it flying at Sirius’ head. James took an even larger one and hit Peter in the back, knocking him sideways onto the sofa. Soon, the four of them were engaging in a snowball fight, trying their very best to not disrupt the Gryffindors in their dormitories.

“Er, do we know how to, er, stop it?” Remus asked, suddenly realizing that this could go very wrongly. 

“Um,” James answered. “No.”

“Maybe you repeat the spell?” Sirius suggested. They were beginning to realize that they were in trouble. The snow, along with not melting, was very thick, and there was already snow past their knees..

“ _ Nix Domesticus! _ ” James cried. “Shit.” Because when he repeated the spell, the amount of snow rising doubled. “Now what?!”

“ _ Finite!” _ Remus spelled, but it resulted in no change. “Does it not say in the book?”

“You were the one reading it!” Sirius yelled. “There’s snow up to our necks, can you just figure it out?!”

“I’m sorry, I was a  _ bit preoccupied with your arse up my lap! _ ” Remus snapped snobbily, instantly regretting it.

“Can you two stop fucking fighting and try something else?!” James shouted. They were climbing up the stairs to avoid getting buried and suffocated in the great heaps of snow piling on top of them.

“Try a stopping spell?” Peter said. 

“ _ Immobulus!” _ Sirius yelled, finally successful in stopping the snow. “Great, now we just have snow up to the bloody ceiling.

They heard a door shut and two familiar voices. “What the hell?!” Marlene’s voice shouted. “What did you do?!” 

“Er,” Remus called. “We were curious about the weather forecast.”

“Heavy precipitation, 700% chance of snow,” Sirius added, snickering at his own joke.

“Can you get rid of it?” Marlene asked warily. 

“No!” Dorcas cried excitedly. She surprised everyone the next moment when she jumped into it. 

“Er,” Marlene said slowly. “Did that hurt?” 

“A bit,” she admitted. “Hide and seek in the snow?!”

Sirius whooped in response, parading down the stairs into the large hill of snow. He left a Sirius-shaped outline behind.

…

They didn’t stop messing around in the snow for nearly an hour - Marlene had been smart enough to cast a silencing charm around them to prevent anyone from wondering what all the racket was. 

After most of the snow had collapsed due to them jumping through it, on it, and and over it, Remus realized that all it took was a simple vanishing charm to rid the evidence of there ever being snow on the floor.

“Guess we can say that this will work,” Sirius concluded, laughing as he cast a warming charm. Marlene and Dorcas had bid them goodnight and had returned to their dorm.

“After the next full moon, we can start setting the time charms so they all go off at the exact time.”

“When do we want them to go off?” James asked.

Remus considered this. “The morning of the train home, probably. The 22nd?”

“We have to be able to stop them before the castle overflows,” Peter reminded. 

“Ah, you’re right,” James agreed. “Can we time the spell to go for a certain amount of time? And then have it stop after reaching a certain point?”

“I suppose,” Remus said. “More research, though, and we’re close to our end-of-term exams. Do we really want to add more work?”

“I can find it,” Sirius said, waving his hand flippantly. “I don’t need to spend loads of nights studying, I’ll look for it.”

“Great!” Peter cried. “Then it’s settled?” 

“Yes. I suppose we can only do the main corridors, not the Common Rooms, but imagine how much more shocked everyone’ll be when they walk to breakfast!”

…

Remus had found himself spending a lot of his time, once again, drowning in studying for their end-of-term exams. When they were younger, they rarely even had exams before the holidays, but apparently because they were NEWT-level, they got extra exams. 

Since his new self-created routine change required him to avoid Sirius, he found that the best way to do that was to switch his regular place of studying to be in the library. Dorcas and Marlene started going with him, as they couldn’t handle the awkwardness around Mary. Dorcas had told Marlene that Remus knew, but she still didn’t know about him and his own romantic issues.

“There you are, Moony!” Remus heard Sirius cry from behind him. Remus shot Dorcas a wary glance but she just smiled at him.

“What’s up?” 

Sirius, without caring about Dorcas or Marlene’s presence, plopped into the seat beside him. He placed a large book onto the table and opened it, sliding it between them. “Look.” 

Remus read it, trying to ignore Sirius leaning onto his side a bit. “This is exactly what we need,” he said, glancing up at him. They made eye contact and he felt himself flush. He was very thankful that, in that moment, Dorcas and Marlene were writing and, even though they were most likely listening, they weren’t watching him.

“You okay?” Sirius said in a low mutter. 

“Yeah…” he said back to him, giving him a look that Sirius registered as: the moon. He understood at once. Remus found himself oddly thankful that he could be using it as an excuse, Merlin knows the moon has no other benefits.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a Hufflepuff who’d appeared. “Hi, Remus?” The girl said. Remus recognized her as Penny Davidson, who sat next to him in Care of Magical Creatures. They’d been partners on multiple assignments and they talked quite a bit in class. 

“Hi, Penny,” he greeted kindly. She looked nervously at him, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. 

“I was wondering if... well probably after the holidays… if you would want to go to Hogsmeade? You know, just to hang out, or whatever,” she pushed her long black hair behind her ear.

“Oh! I’d like that, yeah,” he said with a grin. It’d be nice to hang out with someone else, considering he didn’t hardly hang out with anyone from other houses. 

“Great! Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you in Magical Creatures,” she said. She smiled once more and then walked away. When he turned to face the other three at his table, he was confronted with a proud look upon Sirius’ face, a shocked look upon Dorcas’ face, and a neutral look upon Marlene’s face. 

“What?” 

“Moony’s got a date!” Sirius shouted. “I’m so proud of you, we’ve been training you for this moment!” Remus let out a strangled noise of protest as Sirius side-hugged him jokingly and slapped him on the back. 

“I do  _ not _ ,” he argued. 

Dorcas replied, “It seems as though you  _ do _ . She just asked you out, and you said yes.”

“But she didn’t say it was a date,” Remus said, genuinely confused. 

“She didn’t have to, it was pretty evident that it was,” Sirius explained. “You were asked to hang out alone at Hogsmeade, what else could she have meant?”

“I… I didn’t...” he stammered, locking eyes with Dorcas, who only shrugged sadly. 

“I mean, it’s in January, so you don’t have to worry about it now?” Sirius suggested, sensing some of Remus’ apprehension.

All Remus could think about was that he was even more confused now, than he was before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all, best of luck with school, whether you're in person, online, or having a combination of both <3.


	11. Bisexuality and Butterbeer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily talks to Dorcas about her relationship with Marlene, Remus questions labels, and Sirius and Remus spend some time alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I have no excuse, haha, other than college online is quite something. Fortunately, I finally managed to finish this chapter, and I accidentally made it 2000 words longer than normal. Whoops.
> 
> Just to recap the last chapter: Marlene and Dorcas came out as a couple to Lily and Mary, Mary was not as accepting as they'd hoped, the Marauders were researching and finalizing plans for their winter prank - to have the castle be filled with snow before the holidays. And a Hufflepuff, Penny, asked Remus out on, what he didn't realize at the time, a date.

“Hey,” Lily said, taking a seat across from Dorcas on the window seat in the corridor. It was snowing outside, and the winter holidays were growing closer and closer. Classes were over for the day, so the halls weren’t bustling with people.

“Hi,” she replied, shutting her transfiguration book. 

“Listen, I wanted to ask how you were doing,” Lily started. “I know things haven’t been easy for you and Marls lately.”

“Oh,” she admitted. “Yeah.”

“And I’m sorry about Mary,” added Lily. Since their semi-forced coming out, they haven’t been able to get Mary to look them in the eye, and she looked disapprovingly at them when they showed  _ any _ affection towards each other, even if it’s as simple as a smile.

“It’s not your fault. I guess... we were expecting very few to accept it, I mean it’s looked down upon by most Muggles, even if it is legal.”

Lily nodded sadly. “I’m also sorry, again, that I asked you both about it in front of her, it’s my fault she knows.”

“We don’t blame you. And it’s almost nicer knowing what she thinks about it. It’s a lot less stressful than having to juggle hiding it.

“Of course, it hurts. It hurts like a bitch, knowing that I can’t kiss my girlfriend without a look from Mary. It hurts enough not being able to marry Marls, but I can’t even be myself with her when Mary’s around. And it’s like, I understand where she’s coming from. You know, I hated myself when I first found out about what I was.”

“ _ Who _ you were,” Lily said. “You’re a person, you are valid.”

Dorcas swallowed the lump in her throat. “I mean, I guess I can see what’s weird about it. I thought I was a freak, I didn’t even know it was possible to date your own gender. I tried my best to do research, and I went into Muggle London as much as I could to find  _ anything _ on it. I mean almost every single person thinks it a mental disorder. And it’s just shit.”

“You’re as normal as anyone else that loves someone,” Lily finally spoke. “How is your consensual love for Marlene any different than Mary’s love for Cattermole?”

“Yeah. But most people don't think like that.” Lily looked sadly at Dorcas, but her head was turned out the window, watching as a few first years rolled down the hill in the snow.

“That really upsets me. Because you’re most definitely not alone.”

“No,” she agreed. “I know I’m not.”

Lily hesitated, before speaking. “I think you should talk to Mary. I honestly don’t even think she realizes that what she’s doing is hurting you both so much.”

Dorcas snorted, not out of humor but out of sarcasm. “I can’t.”

She didn’t reply, she just shrugged. “Well, now that I know, I can tell you this: if you ever hurt Marlene, I will hex your arse into next year.”

“Wow, look at you,” Dorcas said, a little in awe. 

“Don’t worry, I already had the same talk with Marls.”

…

“So I’m just supposed to wait until the holidays to buy it?!” Sirius asked, his face clear of all emotion. 

“I suppose,” James started, nervously. 

“Outrageous,” Sirius stated, before flopping backwards onto his bed. “It comes out today! Is there any way to order it by owl?” 

Queen had just released their new album, titled  _ A Day at the Races _ . Mary had been ranting about it to Sirius, but she wasn’t able to get her hands on it, either. It appeared her sister was in ownership of the new album, but she wouldn’t tell them anything else, only that it was amazing.

“We can just get it at the end of the Holidays. Oh, by the way, Mum wanted me to let you two know-” he looked towards Peter and Remus “-that you’re welcome to spend the holidays at our house.” 

“My family will probably want me home on Christmas, but I bet I can stay the rest,” Peter said eagerly. 

“As long as you stay for the annual Potter Party,” James said, winking. There was always a massive “rich people” party at James’ house on Christmas Eve. “What about you, Moony?”

“I’ll have to check, but I can probably come,” Remus replied. He had thoughts swarming through his brain. An idea had entered, something he knew would be more perfect than anything else he’d ever come up with.

It turned out that, to Remus’ super amazing luck, that he was very much able to spend that Christmas at the Potters.’ His parents were actually going to Wales to visit his dad’s aunt, who was sick. Apparently, she was very much anti-werewolf, and, of course, Remus’ parents still thought she was worth going to see.

After about a week of communication back-and-forth, Remus was able to safely attain  _ A Day at the Races _ for Sirius’ Christmas present without the knowledge of anyone else. Well, he did tell Dorcas, when she’d asked what he was getting him. He packed it deep in his trunk, excited for him to open it. 

…

Marlene was in the corner of the Common Room, pretending to listen to Lily as she read something from a textbook aloud. Dorcas was lazily lounging on a sofa near the stairs, charming her quill to fly around, Remus across from her. To Remus’ great joy, Sirius was out with Peter, apparently tutoring the blonde in the, in his words, “art of getting a girlfriend.” Peter, as expected, was not as thrilled to be learning as Sirius was to be teaching. 

Remus had his nose in an A Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde, simply for the representation. The writing was also good. 

Dorcas looked over at him from where she sat. “Looking forward to your date after the holidays?”

Remus looked up at her, frowning. Since she’d asked him out, Penny had been more smiley around him. He’d never really noticed that she fancied him, but now it was so blatantly obvious, he felt stupid for not realizing it before. 

Of course, it raised particular confusion for him. Only once was he ever involved with a girl, and he could hardly call it much of anything. Remus spent the summers before his fourth and fifth year working at a small used bookstore. It was perfect, as he could take breaks for the moons and just say he was on holiday - no one suspected anything. It was a classic romance, how it came to be with him and the girl. Summer of ‘74. All she did was go in to buy a book one day and then the next, and the next, and then they’d gone out for ice cream one day. 

It seemed a lot easier, back then, having a stupid fling. No strings attached, she was a Muggle, and she didn’t have to know about his condition. They kissed, she tasted like strawberry ice cream, and then it was September and Remus was off at school again.

He had to say he didn’t hate the idea of it being a girl. He forgot it had happened; he knew from the beginning that it wasn’t going to entail much. But, there were still some feelings involved - he looked forward to when she would come in. The kiss was… amazing. 

And that was why learning about his feelings for Sirius was so jarring. It didn’t align, make sense, or allow for a shred of normalcy in himself. How could he have kissed and (kind of) dated a girl but have feelings for a bloke? Were his feelings for Sirius different or were his feelings for him made up? He didn’t even stop to consider that until Penny had “asked him out.”

“I’m so fucking confused,” Remus replied, answering Dorcas’ question. She tilted her head at him and thought for a moment before responding.

“Are you into girls?” she asked him.

He felt his stomach leap. “I-I thought I was, but then this all happened and so I thought I liked, well, blokes now, and this just made me question everything more…” he rambled.

“You  _ do _ know you can like both, right?” she asked. 

Remus had to admit that he didn’t even really think that was a possibility. “Wait, I thought you were either… gay or n-” he almost said the word “normal.” “Gay or straight.”

“Nah, you can totally be attracted to more than just one. I mean,  _ I _ can’t tell you how to figure that out - because I’m a flaming homosexual - but if you’re confused about it, Marlene can talk to you.”

Remus was sure his heart skipped a beat at her words. The idea of coming out to someone was foreign to him, and, as of now, he’d like to keep it that way.

He got the feeling that Dorcas sensed his apprehension, because she encouraged him, “She will understand where you’re coming from, and, personally, I think it’ll help you feel a lot less alone. I mean, it’s probably annoying having me constantly talking to you about it, you can talk to her more.” 

Remus stared at her, wide-eyed and suddenly terrified. 

“You, of course, don’t have to, but I think doing it will definitely clear your head a bit.”

Even as stressful as the thought of that was, he figured she was right, and that he’d feel a lot better after someone with more experience talked it through with him. Marlene was still flopped over at the table, while Lily rambled on about some unknown potion ingredient to probably herself, honestly. 

“Hey, Marlene… Can I talk to you?” he spoke, scratching the back of his neck. 

She looked thrilled to have a reason to leave. “Sure, what’s up?” 

This was terrifying. “Dorcas told me that I should ask you about it, just because I guess you understand it more, but I just…” he trailed off nervously. “I’ve never told anyone this before.”

Awaiting her response, Remus shifted awkwardly in his seat. Dorcas was throwing him peace signs from across the Common Room. He rolled his eyes and focused them along the seams of the sofa.

“Oh… Does it… have something to do with your sexuality?” her words hung through the silence, awkwardly.

He swallowed before nodding. “Yeah.”

“Oh! Rad, do you think you like blokes, then?” she said in a low voice.

This was very uncomfortable. “No, I er… I know I do, but… I’ve dated girls and am going on a date with a girl soon.” Marlene raised her eyebrows in understanding. “I just am confused as to how you can like… both.”

“Far out, thank you for telling me, I’m proud of you,” she encouraged, smiling at him. Remus couldn’t help feeling considerably less anxious. “Would it help for me to tell you my story?”

“Loads, yeah.”

“Fab. So in our fourth year, I dated McClaggen, and that went on for about two months. And, you know, it felt fine, it didn’t feel weird or wrong or anything, like it did for Dorcas when she’d dated blokes. I knew I was attracted to him and I was very much into the relationship. Obviously, we broke up, and it was what it was. 

“Did Dorcas tell you how we got together?”

Remus nodded, spotting that very person watching them from where she was seated, smiling obnoxiously.

“Groovy. I’d never considered that I liked girls, simply because I didn’t know you could like more than one gender, either. So, when Dorcas kissed me, and I liked it, that confused me a lot. Once we talked about it, she’d told me that I could like girls, too, and then I thought about it more, and the label bisexual - liking more than one gender - really felt like it fit me, you know?”

Remus considered this, and it did make sense. Why he could fancy Sirius and also not be against going out with girls. 

“So… is there a guy?” she asked slowly. Remus suddenly became aware of the fact that she was reading him closely.

He stumbled for words. “Well,  _ yes _ , but I know that I…” he looked around quickly. “I know that I fancy him. It’s just… it feels a bit different than when I’d liked a girl, even though they both felt…  _ right _ ?” To his surprise, Marlene didn’t look as confused as he’d expected. 

“Nah, that’s totally normal. When I kissed McClaggen, it felt nice, I knew I liked it, you know? It was more intense and drawn-out, a different kind of desperation in his movements.”

Remus was completely baffled as to how she wasn’t getting uncomfortable talking about this in the slightest. He supposed it was probably a relief to her, being able to tell someone after keeping it hidden for so long. 

“But, with Dorcas, it was just… well it was amazing, too, just differently. With her, I didn’t have months of fancying her, she fancied me. I didn’t know I liked her until she kissed me. Still, after that night, I noticed more about myself. The way my heart fluttered when she’d touch my shoulder or how I’d feel ecstatic when she’d smile at me. Different, but I knew they both were attraction. Does that help?”

Remus thought for a moment. “Yes, actually. Thank you, that really means a lot.”

She smiled at him, placing a supportive hand on his arm. “Are you going to tell me who it is now?”

Remus feigned a look of sarcastic genuineness. “No.” 

All Marlene did was snort and lean back, laughing. Remus went to stand up but she quickly said, “No, pretend we’re still talking, otherwise Lily’ll come over and try and make me study with her.” 

Remus glanced to the portrait-hole, which had opened, letting in two familiar faces. Sirius looked annoyed, and Peter appeared to be trying to apologize. The two went straight over to where Remus and Marlene sat on the sofa, and Dorcas, being the nosy person she was - sure, she also wanted to see her girlfriend - appeared behind them, sitting down, as well.

“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, holding back a snort. 

“Peter, over here, instead of  _ asking _ Bridgeson out, which is what we were  _ trying to do _ , told her that  _ I _ would go on a date with her!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in irritation. Peter only winced and sat down, looking thoroughly embarrassed with himself.

“I’m sorry, I panicked, and she asked if you’d want to, so what was I supposed to say?!” 

“I don’t know, maybe no!” he shouted, as if it were the most obvious thing to do.

“If I recall it correctly, dude, you said Bridgeson was good-looking and wouldn’t mind it if she asked you out,” Marlene retorted, leaving Sirius in a fit of confusion and justification.

“I did not - that doesn’t even… No, there’s a difference between - Would you stop laughing at me, Moony?! If you care to know, I saw  _ your  _ woman down there, as well, and heard her mention your name to Bridgeson.” 

Remus halted his snickering at once. Dorcas, who was sitting on the armchair, braiding Marlene’s hair, raised her eyebrows at Remus who only shot her a look back.

Peter apologized again, and then sped off to go bug James in the corner of the Common Room - he was teaching some first years how to transfigure one’s hair to be different colors. 

“Moony,” Sirius whined, flopping on the sofa beside him. “I want to go to Hogsmeade.”

“We don’t have another Hogsmeade weekend until January,” Dorcas replied.

“Mm,” he hummed, turning and staring him down. Remus tried to not pay attention to the flecks of brown in his silver eyes. Raising an eyebrow, Sirius gave a look that Remus understood immediately as: let’s sneak out. 

“No,” he said quickly. 

“Why not?” 

“You know why I think not,” he retorted, glancing at the confused expressions upon Dorcas and Marlene’s faces.

“Please?! You haven’t been yourself around me lately, and I just want to go and hang out, get our minds off exams,” Sirius begged, lightly grabbing his arm and missing the alarmed look on his face. 

“ _ Oh… _ ” Marlene said, her tone revealing that she was finally understanding something. And Remus knew immediately what she had figured out. “Er, Dorcas, would you like to go and check the dorm with me, I have something I need your help with.” 

Dorcas smirked, agreed, then left, leaving a scarlet Remus and a slightly confused Sirius sitting on the sofa by themselves. 

“D’you think we can at least go down and let me show you something?” he asked, suddenly avoiding eye contact.

He sighed. “Fine, but we’ll have to use the cloak.” Part of Remus knew that Sirius was not only not going to show him anything but also bring them to Hogsmeade, but the other part of him, selfishly, enjoyed the idea of spending time alone with him.

“What?” James said, bewildered. Sirius had just asked to borrow the cloak. “What for?”

“We haven’t cast the charm on a corridor yet,” Remus said before Sirius could tell him what they were really doing. 

“Right, well I better see it back soon,” he finished, narrowing his eyes. “It’s in my bag.”

…

Remus was beginning to wonder why he’d been excited for this, as they were now cramped close together under the cloak, Sirius’ breath lingering on the back of his neck. He stiffened uncomfortably. 

“Here we go,” Sirius declared, stopping in front of the one-eyed witch statue, pleased to see that Remus was not going to turn them around.

He merely sighed, pulled out his wand, and breathed, “ _ Dissendium _ ,” opening the hump of the statue and allowing them into the passage.

“Wow, look at you, actually breaking the rules,” Sirius said, impressed. 

Remus scoffed. “You act as though I’m not helping make the school snow in a week and don’t gallivant with you three as fucking animals once a month.” They had about a 30 minute walk to the cellar of Honeydukes. 

“As if you were gonna stop us!” he stated triumphantly. 

Again, Remus scoffed. “Right.” There was an awkward pause between them.

“Moony…”

“Yeah?”

“C-can I ask you what’s been bothering you recently?” he asked, sending a flush into Remus’ cheeks.

“Er,” he started. The last full moon had passed, and he was, for once, annoyed he couldn’t blame it on that. “I’ve just been stressed, you know, about the war.”

“Moony, you’re only weird around me,” he said, sounding much more hurt than Remus thought he meant to let on.

Remus felt the shame creep up his spine, and he repeated, “I’m just worried about the war,” staring at the ground as they walked. He felt Sirius’ gaze on him, but refrained from making eye contact.

“Is it… is it about the prank still,” Sirius said, with so much emotion that the lumos charm on his wand flickered.”

Remus felt even more guilt strike through him. “N-no. It’s fine.”

“Well it just seemed like the only other thing it could be. I mean, this isn’t the first time you’ve done this. Every time there’s a new emotion or secret, you panic and distance yourself. And it’s even more worrisome because you’re acting normally around everyone else. It’s hard to ignore.” 

He didn’t reply again, he just kicked at the dirt on the floor. “I’m fine, Sirius. You should find a new thing to worry over.” 

Sirius was unconvinced, but didn’t press further. Other than when Sirius nearly face-planted, the remainder of the walk to the cellar of Honeydukes was quite uneventful. 

“Er, Moony? Do you know how we’re going to get out?” Sirius asked, realizing the shop was locked from the outside.

“Open the window?” he suggested. 

“What person would be stupid enough to not lock their windows?” he asked sarcastically.

Remus cast an unlocking charm on the window and it cracked open slowly, letting in the cold air from outside. “I doubt the owners are expecting many candy thieves at night.” Sirius scoffed. “Go ahead,” Remus said, gesturing towards the window. 

“After you,” Sirius said, bowing in mockery. Remus rolled his eyes and stood on the table to climb out the basement window. It was right above the ground, so Remus had to fit in sideways to get through.

“If you push in the right way, you’ll fit,” Remus said, maneuvering his way through and pulling himself up.

Sirius snorted, and Remus regretted what he’d said immediately. “That’s what she said.” 

Remus rolled his eyes. “Just come,” he urged, again realizing too late what words had been spoken. “I should just not be allowed to talk.”

Sirius laughed. “Let’s go.”

They walked in the shadows towards some of the other shops, glad to be in their regular winter robes and not in their school ones.

“What do you want to get?” Remus asked as they tread through the snow in the alleyways behind the various shops. 

“What do  _ you _ want to get?” he repeated playfully. 

“I didn’t bring any money. So pick what you want and then we can go and get it.” 

“Are you kidding?” Sirius said. “I’ll get you whatever you want, just let me know.”

Remus rolled his eyes. He didn’t need Sirius to buy him things, if he wanted something, he’d buy it himself. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“Fine.” They’d reached the outside of the Three Broomsticks. “You look the oldest between the two of us.”

“Just because I’m taller, doesn’t mean-”

“Oi, I thought we agreed to not mention our height difference!” Sirius said, throwing up a hand. Peter was the shortest, but Remus towered over all of them, even James, Sirius being just taller than Peter. 

“Okay, okay. Why do you say that I look older?”

“Because you’ll pass as an adult more than I.” Remus raised an eyebrow and Sirius scoffed. “Here,” he said, passing Remus twelve sickles. “Go buy two warmed butterbeers. I’ll wait out here.” 

Remus narrowed his eyes and said nothing as Sirius leaned against the brick wall and slid down to the ground. Sirius continued looking up at him as though he’d said nothing out of the ordinary, which, when Remus considered it, wasn’t as weird as many other things he’d asked of him. He turned and entered the Three Broomsticks, returning a few minutes later with two cups of heated butterbeers. 

“Here are your two butterbeers. Don’t get too drunk on me,” Remus said sarcastically, handing the two to Sirius. Sirius grinned. 

“And here’s yours.” Remus gaped as Sirius pushed one back towards him. 

“I said you didn’t have to buy me one.” 

He rebutted, “And I know how much you like butterbeer. My treat,” he urged. Remus looked hesitant, but reached out.

“Thank you, Pads. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Nah, but I did,” he said, smiling up at Remus, who joined him on the ground against the wall. Neither said anything for a while.

Remus felt pathetic - here he was, breaking school rules (as a prefect) to get a butterbeer with his best friend. Who he had feelings for. Life really was something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to that chapter... The one I really want to post... :))
> 
> I will be participating in @girlwithacrown (@wolfstars_) and @kidovna's Blissember challenge! So expect tons of oneshots in December!


	12. Horseplay and Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exams are over, snow is falling, and it's finally time for the winter holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it's been another month, but finals are finally over and I have two weeks until the new quarter starts! It's crazy, I've gotten more writing done in the last few days than I did the entirety of the last school quarter.   
> Anyways, I really hope you enjoy! We're really close to the Christmas chapter, so expect something really good, I'm very excited to post it!!

“REMUS,” Lily cried from where she sat. Remus, Sirius, and Peter, plus Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene, were crowded at a large table in the library, obsessively skimming textbooks. Well, some were working more than others. 

Sirius was stacking all of their inkpots on the desk, completely ignoring Dorcas and Lily ramble about transfiguration.

“What?” Remus said, snapping out of his zoned-out state. He was getting tired of studying. 

“What was that one spell we learned?” Lily asked desperately. Remus stared, raising his eyebrows. “Ugh,  _ you know _ , that one spell that McGonagall mentioned in class a few weeks ago. About the pirates?”

“Lily are you feeling okay?” Marlene asked suddenly. No one had any idea what she was talking about.

She scoffed. “Am I the only person who pays attention in transfiguration?”

“What’s that?” James asked, plopping down beside Sirius at the end of the table. 

“Evans is panicking about exams. I’ve said this a thousand times - the best way to test your knowledge, is to not study it!”

Everyone groaned. “Sirius, just because you don’t have to study to receive full marks does not mean that  _ anyone else _ is like that,” Remus said condescendingly.

James scoffed. “I… Is there anything I can help you with?” he asked Lily. She pushed her hair around her ear. 

“I’m fine, thanks,” she said, suddenly invested in the book opened in front of her.

James panicked. “Are you sure? Because I can totally help… if you… not that you need it but… I could… help?”

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. Lily glanced at him and he looked away. “Um… Do you… do you remember McGonagall mentioning something about a spell that transfigured, er… pirate ships?”

“Oh, yeah! The incantations are unknown today, but years and years ago, magical people that were in pirate crews were able to transfigure some of the most obscure objects into ships.”

Sirius burst out this huge laugh. “That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” 

James grinned slightly, running his hand through his hair and shrugging. Lily looked amused, and Remus could’ve sworn she was blushing. 

“You two should run your notes by each other,” Dorcas suggested loudly, earning herself a stern glance from Madam Pince. James’ eyes widened and he whipped around to see Lily (who was quite obviously, this time) blushing. 

“Is that… is that okay?” he asked. 

“Potter you and I study together all the time.” Sirius snorted again, and Remus elbowed him in the side. “But, yes, that would be great.” 

…

“ _ I’m done with school _ ,” Sirius cried, flopping backwards onto the sofa in the Common Room. It was Tuesday, the 21st, and Sirius and Peter had just returned from their Muggle Studies exams. Everyone else was done by then and was sitting around the fire and just “being.” It wasn’t often that none of them had things to be doing academically.

“Congratulations,” Remus said, sliding over so Sirius was not so blatantly sitting half-on him. It was nearly dinner time, but they were all exhausted. The next morning was the day of the prank (and the day they would be going home for the winter holidays). Remus was anxious to spend the few weeks at James’ place, especially without Peter there for some of it. 

“Oh!” James said suddenly. “Would you be interested in coming to a party at my place Christmas eve? I understand if you’re going to be with your families, but I’d love for you all to be there,” he said, directing the question at Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene. “Mary would be invited, too, it’s just - where is she?” he asked. 

“Probably off sucking her boyfriend’s-” Dorcas started, but Marlene cut her off.

“I’ll check with my folks. But I’d love to go.”

“Awesome!” James declared. “And? Evans?” 

Lily looked around at the others, who were eyeing her closely. “We’ll see, Potter.” 

“Ay, that wasn’t a ‘no,’’' Sirius said, elbowing James, who shoved him away. Lily smirked slightly. 

Sirius turned to the rest of them. “I think it’s time I bring out the old turntable, once more.” He stood and ventured over to the dusty record player seated on the shelf, sitting as though it hadn’t been used for a while. Which, it hadn’t. Sirius took to playing his vinyl in the dorm, for the most part, as he spent most of his time at Quidditch practice or in the library (forced to be there by James), and the rest of the Gryffindors found his screaming to rock music less entertaining than he would’ve liked.

“What should I spin?” he asked. They all shrugged. 

“Have any Bowie?” Lily asked. Sirius’ face lit up. 

“Of course,” he shouted, pounding up the dorm stairs. He returned moments later with his personal favorite David Bowie album,  _ The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. _ James had, with the help of Remus, found it for him for his 16th birthday the year before.

“It’s always that one,” Peter said with a sigh. “One can only hope that he’ll pick something else.”

“I could be playing  _ A Day at the Races _ , but, of course, I have to wait for the damn record store for that,” he complained. Dorcas winked at Remus. 

Placing the needle on the first side and starting the song  _ Five Years _ , Sirius turned back to where everyone was sitting on the sofas, and took his seat beside Remus.

Most of the Gryffindors were either still in class or were outside running around in the snow, so the Common Room was mostly deserted. The music played through the room as they all sat there, relieved to finally receive a break. Of course, they still had homework for the holidays, but they all knew they wouldn’t be starting that until  _ at least _ halfway through. 

It was nice, though, to sit there, finished with exams, ignoring the war raging outside the walls, and just  _ be _ , singing along to Muggle rock.

…

Throughout the earlier weeks of the month, the Marauders were able to steadily prepare for their holiday prank. The corridors were set to all begin snowing at around 5am, once Filch’s shift ended, and would all stop when the snow reached a certain height. They even found a charm that made it so the snow wasn’t ice cold, so it wouldn’t send anyone to the hospital wing with chills or hypothermia. 

Hopefully, if all went to plan, the snow would stop at about 1 metre (about 3 feet, 4 inches), and only would fill in the outer corridors. And, to their luck, only a quick vanishing charm would rid all evidence of the snow being there, so they were hoping the teachers would keep that in mind when punishing them.

“You ready for tomorrow?” Remus asked them the final night of the term. He was at the end of his bed folding his clothes into his trunk.

“Of course,” Sirius replied. “Can’t wait to see the look on Filch’s face.” They all laughed. 

Remus looked down in his trunk, smiling slightly when he saw  _ A Day at the Races _ peeking through, hidden from Sirius until Christmas. It might have sounded dumb, but he was looking far too forward to seeing his reaction to opening it. 

…

Mary fumbled in the darkness on her way up the dorm stairs, a little past midnight. She cast a quick light charm and jumped when the door opened in her face. 

“There you are. I was just about to go looking for you,” Lily said with relief. “Where were you?”

Mary winced. “Reginald and I were… you know.”

“Gross,” she said. “I need to talk to you. I was hoping this would be sorted out by now, but apparently I need to get involved.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. 

Lily sighed and the two of them walked down the stairs to the empty Common Room, finding seats by the fireplace, Lily casting a quick charm to start the fire. “Marls and Dorcas are really hurt.”

“What?!” Mary asked. “What’re you… are you here to accuse me?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything, I’m just saying that they’re hurt by the way you’ve been treating them. They trusted you enough to tell you something super personal, and you didn’t exactly give them support.”

Mary faltered. “Listen, I don’t like them any less. But… don’t you think it’s weird?”

“Even if I once did, I questioned myself. Why is that something we think is weird?” 

“Well… It’s meant to be a man and a woman,” she insisted, trying to convince her.

“Maybe that’s what’s pushed, but, Mary, how is their love any different from yours and Reginald’s?”

Mary sat there. 

“I know internalized beliefs like these don’t go away immediately, but once you start to question them and be aware of them, you can start to change them. Marlene and Dorcas have only told three people now. They’ve kept this a secret for nearly two years because not very many people in this world accept it. Don’t you want to be there for them?” Lily urged. “I know it’s different, and may be hard to understand at first, especially considering they’re our best friends, but they’re still people and this is hurtful for them to endure.”

“I never wanted to hurt them, Lily,” Mary explained, holding back tears.

“I know. Please talk to them, think about it all,” she finished, tapping Mary’s shoulder lightly before rising and retreating up the stairs.

…

It’s hard to imagine how things were going to go, but the chaos that was instilled wasn’t too far off their expectations. 

James was planning on making sure the other three were up and ready to leave the second they were allowed to head to breakfast (8am) in order to witness as many people’s reactions as possible. Of course, the Fat Lady’s shrieks were enough to wake them all far before then. At around 5:30, the entirety of Gryffindor Tower awoke quickly to the screams of the portrait lady and were quick to arise and gather in the Common Room. 

“What’s going on?” Lily said in her prefect voice.  _ Shit _ , Remus thought, _ time to act like a prefect, too. _ Lily pushed the portrait open to see nothing but snow piled up past the opening of the hole. “What in the - is it snowing inside?” she asked with astoundment.

Everyone crowded out the hole, all in their pajamas still, surprised that they weren’t as cold as they’d expect from snow. 

Peter grinned excitedly and ran out the door, Sirius and James some of the first out as well.

“Are we just ignoring that we aren’t allowed to leave the Common Room yet?” Lily shouted at everyone. She sighed and mumbled, “Apparently we are.”

Remus laughed and met her at her side. “We might as well go out and enjoy it then, yeah?”

“Don’t think I’m not onto you four,” she said, narrowing her eyes, but quickly softening them. “McGonagall will be here soon anyways, I expect. 

After about ten minutes of Gryffindors running through the snow and knocking it over, their party was quickly pulled to a halt. It was certainly a strange sight, as laws of physics weren’t even applied. The snow went to about the waists of most students, but as it wasn’t cold, they could freely run through it without it melting on them or getting any of them wet. McGonagall and Dumbledore arriving, though, made it all the more better.

“Albus, this isn’t teaching any of the perpetrators a lesson! Just let me vanish it!” McGonagall begged. He put up a hand to silence her. 

“Minerva, it’s the holidays, the children could use a bit of cheer!” 

Of course, one may think that they walked their way to the corridor outside of Gryffindor Tower, but, of course, Dumbledore had enchanted a magical toboggan that carried the two of them through the snow even without a slope. McGonagall looked as though she very much disapproved of this means of transport, but Dumbledore juxtaposed it perfectly with his small grin and twinkling eyes. 

Everyone became silent at the arrival of the two professors, quickly gathering themselves and returning near the portrait hole. Most of them were dumbfounded at the sight, but the Marauders retained a neutral expression.

“I’m assuming we need not ask the creators of this treat?” Dumbledore said.

James grinned and Sirius glared at him. Ah, subtlety. 

“You boys caused a ruckus that woke the entire castle up!” McGonagall reprimanded. “All four of the other houses either were woken by ghosts or by prefects scared out of their wits!” 

“Why are they scared of a bit of snow?” a fourth year asked, earning themself a stern look from McGonagall.

“The fact of the matter  _ is _ , that these four thought it wise to bring the weather indoors! And do the charm completely phenomenally!”

“Ah, Professor, why do you always assume it’s us?” James said, mocking a pang to the chest. She narrowed her eyes. “I mean, it  _ was _ us, but, well, you know…”

“Minerva,  _ please, _ everyone is safe and okay, I’m sure we can let the rule-breaking slip  _ just this once _ ?” 

She didn’t look convinced. “Only because I can’t punish you until after the holidays.” Turning around and sitting back on the toboggan with the Headmaster, Remus could have sworn he saw the hints of a smile on her face, only noticeable for a split second.

…

“That was bloody fantastic,” James stated, for probably the seventh time that day. They were currently hauling their trunks to the courtyard to be picked up by the carriages taking them to Hogsmeade station.

“Has it ever happened before? This massive of a prank and no detention?” Peter said with shock. 

Remus snorted, tripping over his trunk. “If not, then we’ve left our mark on the world, what else is there to do?”

They hopped into the carriage. Peter was staying at the Potters’ until Christmas Eve, and then was returning home that night, and then going home for the rest of the break. 

Quickly, they secured a compartment and tried to squish everyone into it; James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and then Marlene, Dorcas, and Lily, but they were unsuccessful. With a sigh, the girls all waved goodbye and settled for the compartment opposite of the aisle.

…

“No!” Marlene cried. “It wasn’t even me! Someone left the Quidditch lockers a mess and I was the one left cleaning them.”

Dorcas snorted and before she could reply, they were interrupted by a knock on the compartment door. The two of them and Lily looked up to see Mary standing there, already changed into red flare pants and a fur coat. 

“Hi, Mary,” Dorcas greeted, letting go of Marlene’s hand and sliding over in her seat a bit.

“Can I come in?” she asked. They nodded, so she sat down beside Lily. “Listen, I’m sorry. I don’t have any excuses for how I acted. I was a bitch and just because I didn’t understand doesn’t mean I should have reacted and treated you like I did. I’m so sorry,” she said, staring at the floor. 

Dorcas grinned awkwardly. “Thanks, Mary.”

“Yeah, thank you. I know not many people think it’s okay, so I appreciate you still trying.”

“I mean… I haven’t ever heard of it before, at least in a good light, but you two are my friends and I realized that me not understanding or being educated was a shit reason to stop being around you. It’s my job as your friend to get used to it, not yours.”

Dorcas reached out and embraced Mary in her arms. “I love you, dude.”

“I love you, too,” she said, taking her turn to hug Marlene. 

It may not be full acceptance yet, but it was a start.

…

“I’ve never seen him so relaxed on a train ride home,” James commented. Sirius had fallen asleep on top of Remus, his legs pulled up on the seat and his head on his lap. Oh, Remus was a mess.

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. “It really was bad for him.”

They stayed silent, but they knew that they all agreed. Remus had been reading a book and was planning on maybe dozing off, himself, but here Sirius was, asleep on him, and Remus knew that he had to stay awake and distracted in order to not fall even more.

The four of them kept pretty quiet for the duration of the journey home simply to not wake Sirius, but at a certain point, Dorcas and Marlene entered, making things a little interesting. 

“Potter, Pettigrew, out,” Dorcas instructed.

“Excuse me?” James said, standing. 

“Have to talk to Remus,” Marlene said. 

They looked questioningly at Remus, who shrugged, but James and Peter quickly shuffled out of the room making way for Dorcas and Marlene, who took their spots.

“Is he asleep?” Marlene asked, casually pointing at Sirius, whose breathing was indicating that he was still, at least a bit, asleep.

“I wouldn’t say he’s in that deep of a slumber, so I swear to Merlin if you two get me into a mess, I will find you both.”

“Damn, you can be scary sometimes, Remus,” Dorcas said, looking impressed.

“What are you two here to do? Antagonize me?” he asked.

“Nah. You both are looking cozy up here,” Marlene pointed out. “It’s sweet.”

Remus glared at her. “Must you? It’s not like it’s very, um, comfortable for me.” He squirmed awkwardly.

Dorcas snorted. “Hah! Ah, being a bloke.” Marlene’s face scrunched up in disgust. 

“Seriously, what are you here to do?” Remus asked. 

“Simply, to… encourage you to maybe, well, possibly make your feelings known? Tell… them…” Dorcas explained. She shifted nervously in her seat.

“Ha, that’s funny,” he said sarcastically. “Now, I must get back to staring at the floor, contemplating why I bother anymore.”

“Dude, why don’t you just go for it? Tell him. I’m telling you, his reaction may not be as bad as you think.” 

Remus rolled his eyes. “This is why I didn’t want to tell anyone.” Sure, that may have been part of it, but of course, it was better for him to be annoyed by them than to have the whole school know.

…

Sirius felt himself wake up a bit, but felt the hum of the moving train below him, and was comfortable enough to not move. Then, at the sound of two voices very different from James’ and Peter’s, he decided to stay conscious enough to figure out what they were doing.

“Ugh, you act like you’re angry that we know, but having too many secrets is bad for you. It’s much better that  _ someone _ knows,” Sirius heard Dorcas say. He realized that he was in Remus' lap, but didn’t quite care enough to move. 

“Well of course I’m glad that you two know and are comfortable about…  _ that _ , but I don’t see why you continue to try and convince me to tell him.” 

Sirius forgot for a moment that he was supposed to be asleep, and that his breathing should reflect that of someone sleeping, so the three of them went silent for a moment. Luckily, they continued on. Brave. 

...

“Look,” Marlene said. “We aren’t going to force you to do anything, we know how hard it is. But it’s torture watching you suffer silently over here and we don’t want you to suffer anymore.”

Remus sighed. “I appreciate it, I really do, but I can’t tell him. He’s already suspecting something,” he said, remembering the conversation they’d had on the way to Hogsmeade a few weeks before. 

“We won’t pressure you anymore, and we are sorry if we’ve upset you. Just… consider it?” Dorcas said, standing up. She pulled Marlene up by her hand and then led her out of the compartment. “See you on Christmas Eve,” she said, waving. 

Remus returned the wave, smiling awkwardly. “See you.”

James and Pete returned at the next moment. “Are we even allowed to ask what that was?” James asked.

“It’d be best for all of us to ignore that entire moment,” he replied. “Besides,” he added. “Looks like we’re almost in London, anyways.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars is an album by David Bowie  
> A Day at the Races is an album by Queen 
> 
> I hope you have a good rest of your week, expect the next chapter to be out in the next couple of days!


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